I Deserve My Life.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by SillyOldBear, Aug 22, 2015.

  1. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Alumni

    I made it what it is. I deserve the pain, both physical and mental. I deserve the loneliness, the futility, the lack of money. I am the one who learned to hate myself because I was fat. Being fat taught me how unlovable I was. Yet I was never able to unlearn it...or to control my eating. Even now, when my gastrointestinal system is shot, sending me to the bathroom all the time and causing pain, I won't stop eating. Eating all the wrong things. I am the one who isolated myself from the world. Now I have been alone so long I really don't know how to interact with people. I am only comfortable when alone. I spent money like I would die tomorrow (I can wish that, can't I). I deserve to suffer in this world. I am reaping what I have sown.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Big hugs for you :hugs: :hugs: :hug: :hug2:

    I am so sorry you are feeling this way, truly! You have made your life what it is, but do you deserve suffering? No, of course not. I was feeling the same as you the other day and someone on this website recommended me to join http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/, so far so good, I've lost 3 lb this week. I know what it's like to be this big and not wanting to leave the house, whenever I'm complaining about my weight my sister will always say to me you're alive aren't you, meaning you can do something about it. I do hope you can get out of this rut, start exercising and eating healthily, for your body as well as your looks.

    This post has inspired me, I was just about to pick up the phone and order garlic chips which I still want but i'll refrain.

    I am always here for you :hugs: