I desperately need advice

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by LM350, Oct 31, 2012.

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  1. LM350

    LM350 Member

    I'm seriously planning on killing myself, and its over this one girl.

    She goes out with my best friend. I know her well and am in love, really in love, with her. It pains me to see them together and knowing I don't have that. I've told my friend about how I feel, he doesn't know what to say. The other day I was talking all day about killing myself and then I broke down in front of all my friends. She showed she cared and she was asking if I was alright, but she doesn't really speak to me as much as she used to. I just want her to know how I feel but I'd never do that to her relationship. I can't get her out of my head, I feel anxious and sick all the time and I'm paranoid about things that might happen.

    So I'm going to take the cowards way out. I'll let her know how I feel before I do it. I can't live with this pain, I have nobody to talk to about it and I'm failing school because of it. I'm just going to kill myself.

    Please, try and talk me out of it because part of me is telling me its not the right thing to do, but I'm so desperate to do it
  2. midnightstar

    midnightstar Senior Member

    Please stick around and talk to us on here, people do care about you and everyone would be devastated :hug:
  3. LM350

    LM350 Member

    I know there are people who care about me, but I don't feel safe talking to anyone. And I'm just scared, and I want a way out.
  4. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Yes honey, you are looking for a way out of this pain. I am sorry for the situation you are in - it's really tough.

    However, it IS possible to help yourself out of this pit. You know that you cannot have what it is - rather, who it is - who you have set your affections on as a deal-breaker for your life. This trial, sent to you so early in your life, - please do not let it beat you down so that you think suicide is the only way out.

    I promise you with all my heart, that it IS possible to find another way out - one that is positive, constructive and will stand you in good stead for the rest of your life from what you've been able to learn from it.

    Suicide does not necessarily = the end of pain. We like to think it will, but the truth is, there are no guarantees. I would be very willing to PM with you, if you would like to, in order to say more (don't want to overwhelm you first reply) - or - your choice - if you prefer, write it here.

    God bless you hun - destruction to yourself is not the way - that part of you that knows this is right - listen to it in preference to your thwarted desires. If she left your friend because she would not want you to kill yourself - you would always doubt her motives for being with you, you know that already.
  5. LM350

    LM350 Member

    Thankyou. I think that her being with someone else isn't a huge deal, just that I know myself I don't have a chance with her. She'd never be with me. I just don't know if I can continue for however many years I have left, 3 or 4, with my social problems and my longing for her. Death just seems to be a better alternative to this. Just a never ending sleep.
  6. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    I understand heartache. I am happily married and have been for 35 years, but when I was a teen I was dating a girl who was from the poor/bad side of town. Very under privileged and in addition to caring about her, I felt bad that she didn't have any of the things that I did (I came from a good middle class family). She died by suicide and while I won't discuss how that makes me feel or felt, I will say that it was very tragic and uncalled for. I ultimately met someone and have been with her ever since and we're growing old together and we should be. My youngest son, when he was 18, had a bad break up with a girl and that compounded with other things (most of which I will never know) made him use suicide as a solution too. My heart is empty now and I go on each day trying to make the best of what is left. I have a wife and two other boys and so I can't just give up or break down totally. My guess is that there are people who love and care about you as well. You have a purpose and you don't know what the future holds. Tides can change in ways you may not even imagine... or new tides may roll in with bigger and better wonders. It's difficult to suffer in the day, but in the grand scheme of a lifetime, there is far more ahead for you. Do reconsider. Listen to someone who has lived through these topics and understand that I have reason to feel as horrible as you do... seriously. I have to cope and go forward. So do you. I hope you do.
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