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I desperately need help

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by bring_it_on, Jul 9, 2010.

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  1. bring_it_on

    bring_it_on New Member

    This is probably futile but I am going to try.

    I live with my father. I don't have / know my mother. I know they got a divorce when we came to America. He is very materialistic and is verbally abusive almost on a daily basis. Apparently to him everything I do is wrong.

    I have resorted to buying a sound recorder to protect myself but since buying one he has become careful not to say anything that could incriminate him.

    I am a deaf / HoH (hard of hearing) college student (doing excellent, I only have As or Bs, nothing lower than that). I have worked small jobs here and there in the past. I work with computers and am doing my best to find a job, any job, while going to school (Mon-Thur, about 9AM to 3PM everyday, give or take a hour or two).

    I have good grades and study hard but I have no money to continue studying and no way to survive if I am kicked out or attacked physically. If I die, he said he would just say I committed suicide.

    I am afraid for my life. He is the kind of person to say "look at all the things I bought, I am not a bad parent". I don't want materialistic things.

    I just want a normal life. I don't want money from anyone or anything, I just need a way. I am at my wit's end.

    I don't drink or do drug or smoke. I don't have a criminal's record or anything. I wanted to join the military to gain experience and a way to escape my father.

    I just need a way to survive. Please help. Just tell me what I can do. I have little to no money now.

    What do I do? I have resorted to praying everyday hoping he wouldn't attack me.
  2. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    what makes you think He would kick you out or attack you phyiscally?
  3. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member


    Im so sorry youre going thorugh this. I am praying for you....Maybe you have to go to a government agency and report his abuse. You shouldnt have to live that way. There may be financial help and housing available in your area. Maybe you need to move out.

    YOU sound like a GREAT person to me. Very strong and very successful. You should be very proud of yourself.

    Your father comes from a different culture and may not understand your feelings. He may have been abused himself.

    The first step is you have to find a way to get away from your Father ,if you are afraid he will attack you. Do you have friends or other relatives you could stay with?

    Go to a councilor at school or the school psychologist. PLEASE reach out abd get help evenif you have to go to the police or govt. You may not be able to work this out with your Father as long as you are living there. He may not see himself and see what he is doing to you.Youre in my prayers!!!!

    Write me if you like,

  4. bring_it_on

    bring_it_on New Member

    Because he has done both before.

    Yep he was.

    And nope. No friends or relatives, at least not for long.

    I need a job and I have been trying to. I live in NYC.
  5. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Sounds like to me you are having a rough time. So your dad pays for school, and for you to live. He gets angry and abusive why? You say you are doing great in school, and I am sure you are doing as he wants. I do not get the abusive part. Does he drink?
  6. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Your dad sounds like an abusive person, who feels he has the right to be abusive to you, because he gives you a place to live and buys you gifts as a way of making things ok. If he attacks you again, you should call the police and have him arrested for domestic violence. Take pictures of any bruises/scars that may result as this is evidence that the police will need.
  7. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    You sound like a very resourceful person. Getting the recorder was a smart idea.

    If you're worried about him murdering you and passing it off as a suicide, make sure that people know that he has said this. That way, you have an excellent deterrent to stop him from killing you.
  8. UnkelHeit

    UnkelHeit Well-Known Member

    Man, that is a scary situation. I think, like Adam or John (?) said, documentation is key here, a deterrent until you can get out. After that perhaps you could talk to a therapist and see what they recommend. Your school may even have someone. I'd start there. Now, I'm not trying to send you away from here but have you checked into abuse forums or support groups? They would probably be better prepared to help you. Good luck. I hope you find help soon.
  9. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend


    i am so sorry for what you are going through, this fear you are living in.

    you say you are in nyc, but i am not sure of your age. here in the united states you can report child abuse or domestic abuse, and it will not be ignored.
    you can just walk to your nearest police station and report the abuse and fear for your life,
    but it might be better for you, if you call a domestic abuse hotline. they can direct you to shelters for minors if you are in that category. or they might be able to offer you shelter, and they don't stop there. they will give you legal advice on how to proceed, if you are at least 16 you can become an emancipated minor meaning you can become free from your father, completely. or they might suggest taking you from him and placing you as a ward of the state.

    our system is not perfect but i think it's worth a try. no one should have to live under the conditions that you are suffering.

    with some help, you will do fine on your own because you already know you have the intellect and determination.

    don't give up, and don't let him limit you, oppress you. abusers don't need a 'reason' to abuse, they lash out at unpredictable times and for no obvious reason. this is not your fault, it is the flaw(s) in your father.

    pm me if you want to talk, i work tomorrow and i can't go to this site from my work but if you pm before i go to bed tonight i can give you an email addy i check in the daytime from work.

    glad you reached out for support. . . . keep reaching out.
  10. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member


    Since your dad was abused maybe you can feel some compassionfor him and that might lead to reconcilliation i hope. You are such a good soul. I am praying for you. Write me ANYTIME. Sending love and hope!!!!

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