I did a dumb thing

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Flying Fox, Apr 5, 2016.

  1. Flying Fox

    Flying Fox Well-Known Member

    and researched methods, and watched/researched method of choice on youtube and google. and now i feel much much worse, i want to stop that feeling. it has brought me back to those few times i went "out there" to do it . . . and i keep think it will fail, won't work, and then there would be humungous police business and stuff being in the spotlight

    being behind the computer screen and researching is nothing like going out there and being poised to do it at that very moment with the very real aspect of failing and going home/being discovered, and dealing with the aftermath, and psychological traumatization.

    and is not so much that i actually want to die but to change the situation.
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    I think what you need to do right now for your own safety is to get up and go outside (assuming its day time) get some air - go to a coffee shop or the library or something - but do SOMEthing. Yes it is dangerous and damaging to google methods and indulge in those negative thoughts. Now you need to think about something else. Go and do something good for yourself - you know by now what helps you feel better and what makes you feel worse, so you need to counter the "dumb thing" with something smart and good for you. I hope you feel better *hugs*
  3. James5706

    James5706 SF Supporter

    I agree with Freya. When you're feeling at your worst, or having a bad day/time. You need to keep your mind on other things. Go out and visit friends. Isolation is not a good thing when you feel like you do. Go for a walk around the shops, see family. Anything that takes you away from a computer screen, researching "bad" things. Or just thinking of them, and being alone at the time.
    I wish I could practice what I preach.....
    Flying Fox and Freya like this.
  4. MisterBGone


    I'm going to Denny's to get some French Toast! If only I knew what to use for toppings...:) (drool-drool-drool: ga ga - goo goo) NumNum.:D
    Flying Fox likes this.
  5. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Please be careful! As you know it is a dangerous and triggering thing to do; please try to not do it again in the future.

    As for now I agree with Freya's advice... get out of there, go for a walk, go do something else and try to get this out of your head and your system.

    Take care of yourself! *hugs*
    Flying Fox likes this.
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I agree with what everyone else has said. When I am really down, the best thing I know how to do is distract myself in any way possible. Reading, writing, music, movies, cleaning....it doesn't really matter what you do, as long as you do something to take your mind off the bad feelings. I hope you will be in a better place soon *hug*
    Flying Fox likes this.
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I hope you've found a way to distract yourself, to try and push those thoughts out of your head.
    Flying Fox likes this.
  8. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Hope you're doing better. Hugs
    Flying Fox likes this.
  9. Flying Fox

    Flying Fox Well-Known Member

    Wow, so many replies! You all are amazing, seriously . . . and I am very touched :D.

    Thank you for the great advice everyone :D. It is so nice that you can find so much support here even though the outside world may not be as friendly. Lately I have been reevaluating my relationships and it is going nowhere. I am feeling better than I was; please remind me (and yourself) not to do that D: It definitely made things worse for a while. Classes have been keeping me distracted fortunately, and another project has popped up that I have been working on so hopefully that will keep me busy.

    Hope you all are doing very well too, we all need to stick together and remind us that we are not alone.
  10. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I am glad to hear you are doing better now! Remember that you can always talk to us when you are feeling low, and keep our advice in mind the next time you feel bad.
    Flying Fox likes this.
  11. Winslow

    Winslow Antiquitie's Friend SF Supporter

    That's also the danger of the internet, that it can be used to google Methods. I admit that I do it some times when I feel really despondent. But then I realize that all of the methods so far have a high risk of backfiring, so that I'll wind up with Unreversible brain damage which will paralyze my body so that I cannot move my arms and/or cannot speak, which obviously even worsens my situation--and to the extreme. There was one case I saw on youtube where the suicide backfired and the man wound up losing his sight in both eyes! That fear always raises a red flag to prevent me from actually attempting.
    Flying Fox likes this.
  12. James5706

    James5706 SF Supporter

    I too am glad you are doing better. Just remember, you are never alone, when you're a member of this group, you will always have friends who want the best for you and will support you when they can. :)
  13. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am always around if you need someone to chat with. I'm glad you are feeling somewhat better. Remember you might have these thoughts but you don't have to be alone in dealing with them. Keep on reaching out. :)
  14. Bee

    Bee Active Member

    I found myself doing the same thing last night but when I snapped myself out of it I found this site.... As hard as it is right now we have to fight and find things and people to make things better... Thinking of researching support groups in my area. Sometimes its easier if people understand what your feeling and going through and they are right there with u when u have those feelings.