I did it wrong

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Annellannell, Oct 24, 2011.

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  1. Annellannell

    Annellannell Member

    I sat on my bed and with tears coursing down my face hacked at my left arm. I cut deep; deeper than I had before. It took a while for the blood to flow to the surface of my arm and I sat looking at the gaping wound; the layers of white skin and fat, then I made more; three or four deep cuts and numerous shallower ones. I couldn't believe what I had done; I was shocked and sickened, but also intrigued. This more than anything had made me feel: more alive, less numb – anything. After sitting on my bed for a few minutes I became happy maybe this one won't stop bleeding, maybe this one will get the job job done. The cut needed stitches. I felt dizzy. I lay down a bit and unfortunately I fall sleep. Woke up I was still here. <mod edit: *sparkle* : asking for methods>
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 24, 2011
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun harming yourself will not heal you inside hun you need professional help okay Call your doctor and get some councilling hun You deserve help hun so please reach out and get some hugs
     
  3. Annellannell

    Annellannell Member

    Crying... Why Sparkle ? I'm tired.
    Can't you understand that ? The help I need is the one to
    stop this pain. Ok I don't want to mess up anyone here.
    I am sorry.
     
  4. metamorphosis17

    metamorphosis17 Well-Known Member

    I know what it feels like to get so low that you don't even want help anymore. I feel like I'm getting there, but I have to keep fighting. So do you...I don't know how else to be in this world other than as someone who struggles. We all struggle.

    It sounds like you're in a really low place right now, I want you to know that you're not alone. But, I'm glad that you're still here, even if it is painful. It means you can get up and try again.

    Forgive me if my positivity seems forced or pushy, I don't mean it to come across that way. I am almost at my wit's end, too...there is no judgment here. I am trying to convince myself as much as others haha.

    Please don't give up
     
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