I did not know how

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TLA, May 21, 2007.

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  1. TLA

    TLA Antiquitie's Friend

    Ya know, I was wrong.
    It really doesn't get any better.
    I don't know what the hell I was thinking.
    How I could ever believe anything will ever change for me.

    I was watching a show on PBS, it was good and different. In the end she dies. It triggered so many thoughts & feelings, helpless, anger, sad, pissed at me, heartbreaking, shattered. & realized I never showed my husband how valuable and loved He was to me. I DID NOT KNOW HOW!!! I really had no model for that.
    Now, I will never have a chance

    DAMN IT damn me

    I am planning an attempt soon. :sad: I just give up. I really do.
  2. Tara

    Tara Guest

    please dont attempt anything, im sure you can turn things around.

    its not too late to have your chance, he must know u love him, otherwise why would he marry you?
    dont let that get you down, you must be a magnificant wife!

    what has happened to make you think things will not get better? i know you dont feel like they will but loads of people get over this, theres so many out there that prove to us that there is a way out if you dont do something silly.
    You dont have to talk to us about it, but if it helps, im all ears!
  3. kath

    kath Well-Known Member

    Oh hun im sorry its all turned so bad for you again.i know you must feel like giving up but please remember the path to recovery is never straight.i know its not much consolation but i guess we will all move forward and then move backwards at times.i know your tired but please try and keep safe.All of this doesnt mean that its the end of the road.......perhaps it just means that recovery is never easy but that you will probably will have better times with it soon.Maybe this is just a glitch.Please try and hang on.And i wish i had more words or even more than words that i could give you.i really sense your tiredness.i can identify with that so much but please stay with us and stay safe.Please also know you are free to PM me anytime if you like.How are you doing now?We are here if you feel it would help to talk some more.Take care.kath.
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    TLA, you learned a valuable lesson, you say you never showed your husband how much he was loved and valued; so many people could look back at their lives, relationships and say just the same thing!
    You recognised where you might have fallen short, you recognised why you might have fallen short, that is insight hun and that means you have learned from it all. This relationship might not be salvagable, but the lesson learned means you will be unlikely to make the same mistake again.
    Take heart from that hun :hug: many people go thru life making the same mistakes over and over again.:sad:
  5. TLA

    TLA Antiquitie's Friend

    Hey Terry, Kath, Tara,
    Thanks for listening. right, I am tired of being without hope. :dry:
    I don't know how I am doing. I have so much free time to let my memories--good and bad--come in. I still have the evil thoughts too.
    You stay safe too!!

    Why is life so hard?????? Why can't we be a happy individual???? :biggrin:
  6. Tara

    Tara Guest

    wish i had the answer....i'd be rich :laugh:

    stay safe :arms:
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