Its 2am in Colorado and i'm alone. Im not sure why im here. I guess i just need to tell someone. I graduate in one more semester and all I can think about is how im going to kill myself. I can't talk to my family about it because they'll start feeling sorry for me and looking at me like im a freak, and I cant tell my friends about it because I have no friends. the latter is mostly my fault because I never let myself get close to anyone. I always felt like I was always giving but never receiving. My "friends" liked me when I listened to their problems but didn't want to hear an ounce of mine. So I became a recluse. Its easier to be alone and not have to worry about other people's feelings than to be around people who never give a crap about yours. that's what I tell myself. but im so alone. Im so alone right now and all I can think about is why I did this to myself. And all I can think about is how I can never fix it now because I feel more misunderstood than ever and I can't trust people to care enough to tell them how much I wish I were dead.