I didn't think it could get any worse

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MyCatWillMissMe, Mar 18, 2016.

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  1. MyCatWillMissMe

    MyCatWillMissMe Well-Known Member

    I'm on the verge of an all-time low. I've been through so much and now have really no family or friends left, I'm haunted every moment of every day over my ex leaving, and now I just found out why my glasses weren't working well anymore. I have a condition that needs minor surgery in my eyes and new special glasses. My vision will continue to get worse until this is done, but I cant afford the second exam, the surgery, or the glasses. I was hoping to be able to just throw down $80 for an eye exam and then another $40 on some cheap lenses for my frames. I will never be able to afford any of this.

    I looked into if there's anything people use for help. I found a place called GoFundMe and signed up there but nobody is going to donate. They say it's mostly people you know who will help, and suggest you connect your twitter/facebook etc to reach out to friends and family. Nobody I know is ever going to help me.

    I'm so tired of an unfair life and going blind would be the last straw. I'm so angry right now. I've been thinking of how I could steal from people and even break into their houses. Why should it just be unfair for me? The only choices are to rob people or get the surgery and be homeless since I can't pay rent for 2 months.
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I am so very sorry to hear this. This must be such a scary situation to be in!

    Have you tried churches or charities? Have you looked up medical trials for the procedure?

    I really hope something works out for you *hugs*
  3. MyCatWillMissMe

    MyCatWillMissMe Well-Known Member

    I don't go to church and I really doubt they just give people money. I can't put it on a credit card because I had a discharge when I couldn't pay it anymore last year so now my credit sucks. I'd try to mow people's lawns or something but I don't have a mower or any tools like that. I even put an ad on Craigslist to be a dogwalker for cheap; I've gotten a few replies but they're all like "We'll let you know." I need some kind of under the table work that a physically and mentally disabled person is actually capable of doing. I can't be a babysitter because I'm a 30 year old man and that's just creepy in our society. I have a car so I can travel but what am I supposed to do to make about $800 extra before I go blind in the next year?

    I am so so so angry. What could ever happen to someone that's worse than being blind??? Why is this not covered by medicare insurance??? They don't care if you can't see??? They told me they'd give me a referral to a place and schedule an appointment for a $164 exam and then a $340 surgery and then the lenses are about $200. Who has money to just throw down for that kind of shit?

    If anyone has any ideas on what else I could do I'd love to hear it.
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    First of all, I'm really sorry for what you're going through. It must be terrifying. I'm blind, but I was born this way and have never known what it's like to see. So for me, blindness is just part of who I am. Sometimes it's hard for me to understand why there are people that feel going blind is the worst thing that could happen, and then I try to put myself in their situations... it would be like me having to face losing my hearing. And that would be terrifying.
    This may be a long-shot, but I wonder if any of the blindness organizations would be willing to help you financially. There are organizations out there to help us as blind people; but it makes me wonder if there are also organizations out there to help people in your situation... someone who is at risk of losing their sight.
  5. MyCatWillMissMe

    MyCatWillMissMe Well-Known Member

    Just finished this all today. The total was $431.67. I have $6 in my debit account and have to pay $70 car insurance and $500 rent on the 1st, and let's not even talk about food...

    What I need is a fucking miracle or I'm going to be dead next week, guaranteed. I'm trying to sell my fish tank on Craigslist which is worth at least $200 but I'm asking $150 just to try and hurry it up. Also trying to sell a few other stupid things. I'd say pray for me but I don't believe in that sort of thing and if there was a god I'd punch him in the face.
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