I discovered why i felt suicidal

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by anonymuss, Mar 9, 2010.

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  1. anonymuss

    anonymuss Member

    hi , how are you feeling lately
    Last year i had suicidal thoughts more than ever in my life here is why!
    1- I was failing in love. Why? I was asking any girl on the street or at the mall out and i felt ugly and unwanted afterwards.
    2- I was failing in finding a job? I tried for a year to apply and start my carreer but no one gave me a chance

    this year none of these issues have been fixed. However Ive been thinking about suicide less often because: i stopped carring about girls and having sex, I stopped thinking about jobs . Now im at home no friends no life and im learning how to program on the computer. It's so boring but my life has thought me that i cannot do better...My only fear is that i end up on the street in die cause i cannot find a job. sure im not happy but im not suicidal these days cause i take more care of myself and don't go out and speak to beautifull girls telling them i want them ...im sure on day ill be a 40 year old virgin and regret who i am ...


    Questions ?
    I want to ask you few questions cause im looking to understand why life is making me feel so bad . Maybe someone experiences can be a huge help .

    If i don't have a job and friends and im lonely how can I be happy? If I go to the mall and like a girl and try to make her laugh and make her mine and I fail how can I be happy? Im 24 just to remind you. How can I change my life. should I ask girls out on facebook maybe they will report me and i wil be banned.

    there is no place to have friends and everywhere i go i get threated like a criminal and a bad person and it kind of hurts me cause i like people in general and would like to have friends and a life...is it too late since im 24 or can i still have girlfriends, dates, a carreer and a life...do I have a mental problem if im failling at this or is it just my personnality ? Why do I lack confidence and i don't know why.

    am i gonna play video games all my life and die of misery or lack of money and food?
     
  2. nimbus

    nimbus Well-Known Member

    i can't tell you i have the answers but i can tell you that reaching out is a start. even if it's just a post or two on here. even though learning programming is boring it could lead to a job eventually.

    as for the question of is it too late at your age. the answer is no. you can always learn new skills. try to start small. find something that interests you. figure out a way that you can be social while doing that. again, start small. you like video games, figure out a way to play games with others in your town. i have met people online playing games that later have become friends in real life. you can too.

    as for girls, i'm not a help there since i'm gay but i can say that i'd kill to be 24 again and have the chance to fix some of the mistakes i made. the first time i fell in love i was 27ish. and it wasn't reciprocated. that was tough. then again a couple of years later. i'm still not over him. i'm 39 now.

    i did manage to get a boyfriend for about a year when i was about 30 but i broke it off after a while. while i sometimes feel like it's too late for me too, i do hope that i'm wrong and i might find someone that i love that loves me back eventually.

    i'm sorry for rambling, but it's really late here. i hope that if nothing else you realize this. you are not alone. you have reached out and another person has responded. keep trying, my friend.
     
  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I think that some of those questions we can answer in general, but none of them we can answer specifically to you because you hold the answers.

    If i don't have a job and friends and im lonely how can I be happy? What is it that you think will make you happy from having a job and friends? Are you doing things like joining clubs? Meeting people? Have you tried volunteering? The volunteering in particular can be excellent in meeting people, building self esteem and confidence and also self worth, and also with regards to getting a job too, because it will look great on your CV/Resume.

    If I go to the mall and like a girl and try to make her laugh and make her mine and I fail how can I be happy? A girl will never be yours. She will always be her own, although she may choose to be with you and spend time with you. To me, it seems like you're looking in the wrong place. The idea of the mall is not to go and get a girl, its to go and shop or eat, or whatever. People don't go to the mall with the idea of someone trying to hit on them, they go with the idea of shopping, or eating or something else.

    I also think that if you are setting out with the idea of 'making someone yours' that that will come across, and that's not very attractive to a girl, to be honest. Do you compliment people? Do you show interest in them?

    How can I change my life. I think that you have done some good things already, by starting your computer programming, and working on the way you feel about things. I would really suggest that getting out and volunteering, picking up some hobbies and joining clubs and stuff is a good thing to do (or courses that are based somewhere other than your room). I would also suggest working to increase your self esteem and learn how to be ok with yourself. Maybe try reading this thread for that. http://www.suicideforum.com/showthread.php?t=26788

    should I ask girls out on facebook maybe they will report me and i wil be banned. That, to me, comes across as a bit creepy. Maybe look to meet people at places where other people are looking to meet people, so dating sites, dating organisations and clubs, speed dating, things like that.

    is it too late since im 24 or can i still have girlfriends, dates, a carreer and a life I have heard of people in their 80s and 90s meeting new people and falling in love and doing new things with their lives. At 24, you have many, many years ahead of you. You can turn your life into what you want. It won't be easy, but it is doable.

    ...do I have a mental problem if im failling at this or is it just my personnality? We can't answer that. You may have a mental health problems like depression, or you may struggle with issues like self confidence and self esteem and with some work, that may change. If you think you might have a problem then it is worth talking to a doctor about it so they can help more.

    Why do I lack confidence and i don't know why. Only you can answer thatThe answer is within you, even if you don't consciously know the answer right now. With respect to the girls it sounds like you set yourself up to fail because you're approaching it wrong, so that may be true in other areas. It may be a deep rooted and deep seated them..

    am i gonna play video games all my life and die of misery or lack of money and food? Only if you choose to. You can get out and make choices and do your best to change your situation. Even if you have a mental health problem there is still hope. It's your choice what you choose to do. Give in and stay where you are, or decide to make changes and aim for something better.
     
  4. weevil

    weevil Well-Known Member

    It's brave of you to approach strangers in public to talk to them, it's not something I could do. Your results I think though are showing that girls don't really respond to be chatted up while in the mall, I'm not saying don't do it but don't be disheartened by not being successful with this method.

    It's hard to meet people from scratch but you have the advantage of age, 24 is definitely young enough to be meeting new people, people get a lot more set in their ways and stop looking for new friends as they get older.

    I agree with nimbus about using your interests to meet people, maybe join some forums online? Or you could join some dating sites? You don't have to use them for actual dating, a lot of people meet friends this way. I find meeting people in real life a lot harder so my advice is probably going to be based online. I know a lot of people meet people in bars and clubs but I've never done this, I think it's a terrible place to get to know someone.
     
  5. nimbus

    nimbus Well-Known Member

    i'd have to disagree with you on this one....now i certainly don't advocate drinking yourself sick and if you have a problem with drugs and or alcohol i'd suggest staying clear of bars. but, i have met some of the nicest people in bars. maybe i'm a little biased because my job takes me to bars quite often (i'm involved in music).

    when i was asked to move out of the house by my somewhat ex, i fell apart. the one thing i did that brought me some comfort was to go out to a particular bar and hang out, listening to music. over time, i got to know the staff very well and they became very close friends of mine. to this day, i still talk to most of them on a fairly regular basis. i also met many other patrons and call them close friends as well. these people stood by me while my life came apart. they are far from perfect, but they are perfectly accepting of me. the bar has been closed for a year now and i still miss that place, and that time in my life.

    i know my tale may be uncommon, weevil, but i just had to speak up.
     
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I think maybe it depends on the bar/s involved?
     
  7. weevil

    weevil Well-Known Member

    Not at all, I'm the exception here. Most people seem to get on fine meeting people in bars and clubs, it's just never fit well with me.
     
  8. nimbus

    nimbus Well-Known Member

    well, if we ever wind up in the same city i'll take you out for a beer and we can discuss! :wink:
     
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