I dislike my life

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by LightInTheDarkestNight, Oct 16, 2011.

  1. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    Earlier today I woke up and basically the first thing on my mind is that I want to die. I have no real friends I can count on.

    People don't like someone whos in their mid 20s lives at home with his parents and has no friends, no job, only enemies who would love to harm me. I'm basically a pariah a social outcast. I'm basically just existing, with all of my ailments(how I feel), my social issues(enemies/no friends) I'm basically doomed to not have anything close to what most people view as normal.

    I want to be a productive successful person but really all I can do is get by and I've made so many mistakes im reminded very often of things. I know people judge me as being lazy a deadbeat or whatever but I'm so disabled I'm doing my best and it's still not very much a life worth living.

    Maybe I cursed myself a few years ago I said to myself in a prayer type manner if I haven't made anything of my life just end it for me. I don't know if there's a god or creator maybe there is maybe not.

    Anyways I need some rest and maybe then I'll feel better....
  2. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    You sound like you feel very hopeless..

    I hope the nap will help some. :hug:
  3. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    Thanks swift I wasn't able to have a nap but I ended up getting out of bed a couple hours after I posted this thread.

    I had a good workout I got 225x9 reps on one set for bench press which I'm pretty happy with, I'm still tired but feeling a bit better, thank god for caffeine helping me get the energy for lifting weights!
  4. Sardaukar

    Sardaukar Well-Known Member

    You like lifting weights, then here is a quote to live by, it is one of the truest things you will ever hear:

    The iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you’re a god or a total bastard. The iron will always kick you the real deal. The iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But, two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds.” - Henry Rollins

    and its true
  5. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    Thanks for sharing that.

    I know that quote I was thinking about it just the other night. Well I didn't know the whole quote only it paraphrased.

    If you want to lift it's always there for you that's for sure and you can always be on with your diet, even if you have no friends, no GF and your life is pretty much down the drain.

    I hate that my life turned out like this I seriously deserve better. I also know that I can't wave a magic wand and change the past or my circumstances.
  6. shub11

    shub11 Banned Member

    Some how i also somewhat can relate my life to yours. I think daily that God please some kill me (because I dont want to commit suicide ) .. I feel worthless daily I also in my mid 20's but I dont live with my parents although I miss them like anything ...i dont know how am i going to bear this long life
  7. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you can relate shub :hug: In reality I just wish things were different but I can't wave a magic wand and change things. The only thing I can do is deal with the now. I've had so much stress and other stuff I'm quite sure I'm suffering from adrenal fatigue which can be very debilitating.
  8. the_unknown

    the_unknown Banned Member

    Praying that God will take away your life never comes true...
    For some reason maybe he wants us to strive hard in this garbage we call life.
    Life sucks doesn't it?
  9. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    I'm sick being lonely and feeling shitty so much of the day. I want a real relationship but with all the options women have and then all of my flaws and life circumstances I'm hard pressed to find one who views me as filling that role for her.
  10. eagles_fan

    eagles_fan Well-Known Member

    I think I can relate very well. I'm only 18 but I'm not attending school right now, technically I'm employed but I'm not doing anything, and I have almost no friends. I'm not hanging out with anyone right now. I'm just sort chilling at home.

    I'm like you in that I don't think people like us very much. But just because we're alone and unemployed now doesn't mean we'll always be. You'll have to look for a job and look for friends. I'm the same. You shouldn't want to die. When you think about it, that's no reason to die. It'll get better, trust me.

    It's fucking great that you have a hobby. I myself am working out currently, trying to look better. It makes me feel better. Doesn't it make you feel better when you lift those weights?
  11. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    I'm too far gone to be looking for friends or a job with my healthy condition and situation. I do appreciate you thinking of ways to help.

    You should find a group of friends yourself and enjoy yourself while you're still young.

    Yes I feel better when I work out but with my fatigue I have to drink caffeine to get the energy to lift. If my fatigue is adrenal related the caffeine isn't probably helping in the long term but I gotta do it.

    A large part of your results will come down to diet I know a fair amount about lifting and dieting so if you want to chat with someone who has the same hobby feel free to PM me.