I do apologise..

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by shamps, May 17, 2010.

  1. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

    I apologise to everybody who may have been wondering where I am.I have been unable to talk to anybody the past few days.Ive felt useless and unwanted and all ive been able to do is lay under my duvet.I havent seen daylight for 4days straight,not even peeked round the curtains.

    I thought I was doing ok at one point but now im just at rock bottom again.I tried to get out one night last week and it turns out all it did was drive me straight back home where I feel the safest and get me all upset at the world again.

    Made me realise that I am truly on my own,the world hasnt stopped because im in pain its carrying on as if I dont exist,how could people be so ignorant I wonder to myself.But they are actually doing nothing wrong.Ive found myself despising people who look even remotely happy with their lives and that isnt me I just am not a bitter person by nature but at the moment thats how im feeling and I hate myself for it.

    Im not stupid I know this is gonna take time but time is not my friend and im fearful that if im made to go another day in this much pain I will be pushed over the edge.Meds dont seem to be helping and all talking to quacks ect does for me is show me what a fecking loser I am!I cant keep a man that has been with me 5years,traded me in for somebody else,what is so wrong with me?????

    I dont get it,maybe if I got it it would be easier but I dont.Im not perfect but I thought I was a good person.Only bad people deserve being tret like this right?So why me?

    There was only one thing I wanted in life and hes gone.Thats not selfish just wanting one thing.And to boot he hurt me aswell.Why do people leave me?

    Im hurting really bad and im sat typing this on a site where I know nobody can help me because you are all miles away and have your own problems.I hate myself...
  2. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    ange please stop beating yourself up

    sometimes bad things happen to good people

    stay with us here and keep posting hon, let us give you the support you need to get you through this

  3. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

    I wont get through this,I dont know how to stop it hurting

    bad things have happened to me all my life...its not just this one time.I have always been punished for something and I dont know what it is.Im left thinking if I do get over this then what next because lets face it there always is something else
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    we're here Ange to try and help....
    echo is right ..please stop running yourself down...you are a caring, wonderful person and we miss you on here....
    don't let him bring you down...you deserve way better than that...
    positive thoughts only please.....
    you are not a bad person...he was the one who was at fault...
    stay with us and talk..:console:
  5. jabooty

    jabooty Banned Member

    1. hes a butt head
    2. his loss
    3. you probably have more "real" friends than i do
    4. Ive been beat, kicked and beaten up by everyone (emotionally) so I have had many set backs.
    5. your only across the pond, dont make me canoe over! u dont want to see me eaten by sharks do you!
    6. my current problem right now is that your hurting!
    7. he didnt ugrade, like an idiot he downgraded...which leads us back to...
    8. hes a butt head

    see how that came full circle to hes a butt head!
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Angela,
    You are going thru greif,it takes time for the heart to heal..Once you get thru greif then anger is the next step..The fastest way to get past this is to keep yourself busy so you don't think about it as much..
    I agree with Jabooty that he is a butt head..His loss not yours..We can only offer words but I hope at least some get thru your pain and make sence to you..Take care!!
  7. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    :hug: Well I am glad you are ok. I like seeing your posts in my threads. I am kind of envious of your ability to just hide and not see the light of day for 4 days. I wish I was not so pathetically desperate and lonely that I could do that. However, I have to talk to someone.

    I am sorry to hear your man left you. My woman left me for another all for a word. I try to be optimistic. If I found someone like her once I will find another like her or better again. It is hard considering on top of being wonderful she was beautiful. It is funny how years can mean nothing to people.

    Anyway I hope you feel better hun. :hugtackles: .
  8. ozbound

    ozbound Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Only just seen this.
    No need to be sorry Ang You will get through this you do have friends we may not be close as the crow flys but we are here for you. As has already been said bad things happen to good people and you are a good person. You will be a stronger person when you look back on this in time. But you will have made some good friends while your going through it and we are all here to help in anyway we can.