I don’t know how to feel about this

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Well-Known Member
So I’m seeing this guy who is amazing and sweet and so chill with super good vibes.

He’s deaf and I’ve been learning ASL. We sign in person obviously but we also text everyday a whole lot.

He very often tells me he’s still shocked that I want to be with him because I’m white and he’s brown, and he says “I’ve never dating a most beautiful woman before.” I asked him what he meant because sometimes ASL grammar and English grammar can make for some miscommunication, but he said “I’ve never dated a white woman before”.

I asked “Why is white a synonym for beautiful?” He said “Because society tells us.”

I’m not sure if PC culture has extended to the deaf community yet but these interactions always make me feel uncomfortable and sad. He says the white women he’s met have told him they don’t date brown or black men. He says his skin is ugly and that he’s ugly.

I always tell him no, I love his skin, I think it’s beautiful, because it is.

I’m not really asking for advice or anything. It’s just kind of a shocking thing I’ve encountered the past couple months and idk. We all need to do better.

Also, is racism/PC culture just an American thing? Because I’ve talked to some friends from Canada or England and they have no idea why Americans are so uptight and PC crazy, and have told me it’s super unnecessary and annoying lol.


Active Member
This is a sad indeed. While I don't think that every women he met were actually racist, it is still sad that he thinks about himself negatively just because if his inherent appearance.

I don't want to put pressure on you, nor force you to do anything, but I think that you may actually help him in rebuilding his self-love. From what I can read, must really like hims as a person, and if he likes you as well, maybe he'll see that what society says isn't true at all, and that only the insides are what matters.

I wish him the best *hug

In regards of racism in other countries, sadly, I can't tell much about it. I moved to UK about three years ago, and while I've seen people of many different races and cultures; I've never seen any act of discrimination caused by an individual characteristics. It may be just me whom never witnessed anything like this, so don't take my words as a general statement.
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