I don;t deserve to be here

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by The Depressed Puppy, Dec 24, 2013.

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  1. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    Seriously I am such a horrible person. I am rude, stupid, & ugly. No one really likes me, & I have no friends. People treat me like a kid, & not an adult.

    Gosh... I really want to die right now, I really want to kill myself. I wont because it is Christmas eve today, & Christmas tomrrow... But I have date set,I will not say when, but I do. I am not sure if I will go through with my plan, I probably will. But probably not.
     
  2. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    first... the fact that you think you are horrible person lends me to believe you are not. truly horrible people never even question that, they simply think that the world is mistreating them and that they have every reason to act as they do, etc. i do not know you so i can't say for sure if you are rude o rnot, but even if u are, tht is changeable if you so choose to change it... as far as ugliness, i know its considered cliche these days.. but i truly believe true beauty or ugliness resides inside the person, not outside... your appearance changes with time, your personality is what makes you who you are, if there is soemthign there you dont like, change it... make yourself beautful in that way

    i also think that reaching out to a crisis line or a help line or your therapist or etc is probably a good thing for you to do right now since you have a date and time picked out
     
  3. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    People blame for everything.... My sis & family especially. The I get angry at them for this.

    I would be better off not being here.
     
  4. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    i know what it is to feel at fault for everything, i get that a lot from my husband .. and when i choose to talk to them, my sister and dad as well. now that being said... here's something that is hard to hear and even harder to do, but that does in fact work if you choose to listen to it and take what you can from it. even though others may try to pass blame off on you by telling you that you are at fault... the responsibility for accepting blame falls on you. analyze what they say, then decide whether or not what they say has any value or makes any sense as to how it can be your fault. after you do that, most things you can avoid taking blame for and either point out the reasons they are not your fault (which can in fact be fruitless and just cause more tension) or just let it roll off you and dont think on it at all anymore.. some things you may indeed find that you should accept fault for (all of us make mistakes) in these cases, you need to try to correct whatever flaw you perceive in yourself. now, that being said, i know that sometimes its just easier and even automatic to just accept the blame even if you yourself know that logically it is not your blame to accept..... just understand, that is you hurting you, not them hurting you.

    i am sorry however that you even have to go through that process.... this is one of the times i wish it were a perfect world where we didn't have to deal with unjustness.... but if it were a perfect world, i still think most of us would be bored and thus would not be happy anyway. we cannot be happy it seems w/o a little strife... an annoying part about being human i think.

    i hope that helps you a little bit, if there is more you would like to talk about or if perhaps i got it all wrong, i will be happy to listen as well... take care and be safe.
     
  5. iwanttohelp

    iwanttohelp Well-Known Member

    Please don't do it. You are smart enough to get some help on this forum and noble enough to admit your faults. Many people would not do that.

    Even if you have done some horrible things you can ALWAYS start to change if you don't give up on your life.

    At least you have admitted to yourself that you are doing some actions in your life that you believe are wrong.

    One very small bit of effort everyday can eventually change you. Try just a little everyday to stop being rude perhaps.

    Then think of just one small positive habit you can do each day. For instance, write out your feelings here or in a journal. Or take 5 minutes to read some positive quotes online.

    Never give up on your self, keep seeking help and try to think deeply about what pains you... to find the root of your suffering. Once you find the true root of your pain and hurt then try to express it until it you get every last bit of it out in the open.

    You can do it just one small step at a time.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 24, 2013
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