I don't belong here!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by melosine, Mar 17, 2012.

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  1. melosine

    melosine Active Member

    Right now, I feel awful and my Saturday is ruined because of a hateful, mean professor I have this semester. I am a very quiet and sensitive person and she is singling me out because of it. I try to stay calm and not let small things get to me, but she is really pushing my buttons. I just want to scream and leave or drop the class, but I can't because my family is pressuring me to graduate this summer. All I need to do is to get past this, but she is making it hard for me. She just reminds me of how much I can't fit into this world and how much I don't belong here. I wish I was dead so that everyone and everything could just leave me the hell alone!!!!
  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Hi melosine,

    For advice and encouragement, have you recently thought about finding resources on campus where you can talk to someone about this? Sounds like you could benefit from someone helping you pull a good plan together to make this class easier to deal with....best of luck to you. :hug:
  3. melosine

    melosine Active Member

    Yea, thank you for the reply. I am actually talking to someone, however this just happened recently. I am also depressed about finding a job for myself after school. I dont know what to do and I just feel worthless.
  4. rv498

    rv498 Well-Known Member

    I withdrew from a class recently because she was an ass. I fee so much better. It may not be constructive but from now on I am taking everything on line.
  5. melosine

    melosine Active Member

    I am so glad to know that there is someone out there who went through the same thing. Unfortunately, I don't have an option but to deal with it. She is testing my patience though. Anyway, I still feel awful.
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I'm sorry to hear this professor is being mean to you. Teachers used to pick on me in school too because I was quiet and shy, so I know how you feel. Sorry that you have to put up with her, but remember that she isn't worth being upset over. She is probably doing it because she knows it will upset you. If you don't show her that it bothers you, then hopefully she will leave you alone.
  7. Pasta08

    Pasta08 Banned Member

    You belong here and you deserve the support you will get well you deserve all the support in the world and i hope you get it.
  8. toshi

    toshi Well-Known Member

    Please don't feel badly. I am an ex-professor myself and when I think about how horrible I was sometimes, I am ashamed. No one knew how much pain I carried around everyday - how I hated myself and this may have shown in how I treated others. It may help to think that this person's behavior towards you is more a reflection about the way he/she feels about him/herself rather than anything about you. Please hang in. It's temporary. You will never see this person again when it is over.
  9. melosine

    melosine Active Member

    It's going to be tough because I am already weak about everything. Every day I am emotional and I am not sure if I can hang in for so long. I cry every day.
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