I don't belong

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by SillyOldBear, Sep 24, 2015.

  1. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    I don't belong in this world. The only time I am really comfortable is when I am home...ALONE. I don't do well with people. I say the wrong thing, show the wrong expression, do the wrong thing. Don't learn quick enough, don't wanna watch the football game or listen to the same music. The words I needed for this post were with me when I was at work today, but now they are gone. But I really do not fit. Not anywhere. Not even with family. Last time I saw my brother we got in a fight. He thinks I am a moron. I don't belong at family gatherings, I don't belong at SF, I don't belong at work. The only place I belong is at home. ALONE. Thank goodness I have that refuge.
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    While I happen to believe you contribute a lot here and suspect you do other places as well, my perception is less important than yours. I do wonder though reading your post, are you sad or upset because you prefer to be alone or is it that you just think is strange to be that way so wrong? I personally much prefer solitude when I am able to find it, as do many others. It is only an issue if you want to be more socially active or yearn company. If you like to be alone or do mind it in large part but just feel like is more out there you are missing you can explore a little, slowly and at your own pace different places and activities to find times to be around people until you find a place/places you are comfortable to socialize for a few hours a day/week/month - whatever amount of time you think my add fullness to your life.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I feel like that sometimes. While it can be comforting to stay inside and hide away from the world it will make things much worse in the long term. I too find it hard to interact with others for more than a few minutes but I just do it anyway even if I do make mistakes sometimes. Basically you can stay inside or go and be social. It's your choice but I really, really think you should try therapy such as CBT/DBT or talk therapy, it may change the way you think.
    If I said to myself 10 years ago that in 10 years I will be out of the house, have friends and have a social life and am attending college I would think that would be fictional as I couldn't leave the house.

    Get outside even if it is only for 15 minutes and keep building it up as you go along. If you fall back that is fine we all have set backs but please do try!!

    I really hope you can get through this, if things get too bad use the suicide hotlines and see a doctor and therapist. You are an amazing woman no matter what you choose. Big hugs to you. I think you can get through this, if you want to talk you know where I am ((hugs))
  4. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Thank you all for your posts. I have always been a loner. But agree, that being alone constantly would be impossibly sad. I do get out for work, grocery shopping and church. But do not linger and find conversations very difficult. I think a lot of the problem is that my life has been very different from the 'norm'. No serious relationships, never married, no kids, no great success on the job....and so on. It can make it a challenge to relate to others and for them to relate to be.

    And yep Ben, being alone can be absolutely amazing. I know people who won't go anywhere alone. Not for a drive, to a movie, a restaurant, not anywhere. I am just the opposite. But I sometimes feel rather strange; liking to be alone so much.
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    As an only child, and for reasons too long to explain, and a child that was left alone a lot; solitude is actually something I need.
    I get on okay with people, but when I have to socialise for a any length of time, the sheer relief of getting home and having some alone time.
    I find, if you are a listener, people just love to talk to you.
    Get a handle on openers such as "Hi how are you" and then let them babble on.
    This way you will have things to say as responses are usually pretty straight forward.
  6. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Thanks Terry. I definitely have discovered that people much prefer talking then listening. And that really is a relief. I give a lady a ride to church on Sunday's. She just goes on and on and on. In some ways it drives me nuts. In other ways it is a huge relief. Because when I open my mouth it seems the wrong things come out way too often. A product of being alone so much I guess. But being alone is so safe and relaxing.