I don't buy it, anymore...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by skyisburning, May 24, 2010.

  1. skyisburning

    skyisburning Well-Known Member

    (before I explain the title of this thread, let me provide some brief history)
    I'm 20 years old, a girl, and I've never dated, kissed, or slept with anyone. I am the ultimate Virgin Mary.

    For years I've had to listen to friends say, "Oh, it's not a big deal. You're only 16."--"You're only 18."--"You just turned 20, that's still young!" I constantly have people telling me this stuff, and I just don't buy it. It's not acceptable. I'm 20 years old, and I haven't even KISSED someone?! I knew kids who were dating and kissing in like, 5th grade.

    I feel as though this sounds like a trivial and pathetic excuse of a post, but it really is something that profoundly effects me on a daily basis. It has caused me to retract myself a bit and become un-confident and discouraged. I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong... And the biggest kicker of all is that, it would be one thing if I were homely or had a big nose or some specific flaw that would be deemed unattractive by societal standards, but all I ever have is people telling me I'm beautiful. (And please, do not think I'm trying to be vain in saying this, I'm not...cause I don't see it)

    I guess I'm just frustrated...
  2. cloud9

    cloud9 Well-Known Member

    Heh, I'm a 22 male whose still a virgin. I've never kissed a girl let alone gone any further. I've never dated nor really heard of anyone having a crush on me. At least not presently. Many people tell me I'm cute, some say I'm handsome. TBH I don't buy it. I mean if that were really the case would I still be in the position that I am in right now? Although I did get braces off and started working out regularly about 8 months ago. Still, there are other things about me that I feel girls would have found attractive, but still no luck. I don't get it either I'm afraid. I personally think I may lack social skills and confidence which I think are key to attract girls.

    Sorry for your luck :(
  3. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Well you're female, and apparently good looking and all that fun stuff.

    Just put yourself out there and your situation will change fast.

    Easier said than done, yes, yes, but you shouldn't have to put much effort into it. The guys will initiate most of the time.
  4. daniel2

    daniel2 Banned Member

    It sounds like you are caught in a vicious cycle. You want to shed your virginity so what you need to do is get laid. But you can't get laid because of your self doubt caused by your virginity.

    Why not give yourself a break and tell yourself that you WILL NOT have sex with anyone under any circumstances for six months. In that way you are taking control of the situation. Then you can focus on establishing a loving relationship with someone without the pressure of sex.

  5. Fdt

    Fdt Well-Known Member

    Well, you're fortunate in a way, as you may be all the things you stated, but you're still a girl. As Fawkes said, if you're decent looking, and female, you just have to put yourself out there a bit, it doesn't take much confidence, just some, and men WILL initiate eventually.

    The problem is way bigger if you're male, because not only do you have to exude a certain amount of confidence to even be considered attractive, you also 9/10 times will have to initiate, which is a really huge confidence barrier to jump over. I'm an 18 y/o boy, I've been kissed once by a girl, never kissed a girl, never had a relationship, never held hands, etc. I think I'm close to over-coming a lot of that, but I'm not gunna count my chickens before they hatch, but all I can say is, as a boy, getting over low confidence to start something with a girl was fucking unbelieveably hard.

    As said, just put yourself out there a bit, and guys will hit on you, though the choices you'll have to make after that is a very different story ;)
  6. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    Hi, I'm Mike, wanna go out sometime? lulz
  7. skyisburning

    skyisburning Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the offer Mike...but you live in Texas, dear...and I'm from Kentucky, so I doubt that will be an option. haha :)