I don't care anymore

If I don't kill myself off first, then I pray that someone will claim my life or let in infirmary or disease or cancer consume me and die that way. I sick of living here in this world. I can't cope with all the way people are and how the world is living. I want to just literally give up trying to make it here. I'm like the candle in the wind, or a tree planted over rocks that just sway in the wind and die because it has no stronghold. Who gives a hoot anyway? Everybody lives in their own selfish ways and ultimately all that counts is if you want to cope or die. I choose death. Go ahead, try convince me otherwise again. I will talk a good talk just to let you out of my hair and I don't care anymore. I feel hatred from people because I hate myself so much. This is a lonely, selfish world and very depressing. I just don't see the point in trying anymore. I'm just not doing my self in right so I need something else to finish me out. I really don't care anymore. I sound redundant but that's what the bottom line is and when someone makes up their mind like this, no help will help. This is just hopeless. I don't know if people even feel the way I do. I don't care anymore. Lock me in a facility or dope me up with more and more drugs. That's the only solution to keep my ass out of trouble. That's not life. Put me away then. Forever... good luck to you all.

 

Hi mpang, sorry to hear youre feeling so frustrated with life. How long have you been feeling like this? Also do you feel like this everyday and every waking moment.
If you spend enough time reading on here you will see there are plenty of people that feel very similar to the way you feel. I noticed youre from Houston. I grew up there but live in California now. I dont have any friends here like I did in Houston except my boyfriend. I also miss going to chill places like Notsuoh and Super Happy Fun Land.

 

I flop like a fish out of water. I hate these ups and downs. Nothing helps except just locking me up in institutions. What kindof life is that? I feel hopeless. Can anything give me hope anymore? Ive tried everything. Nothing seems to click. This is no way to live. I hate life.

 

I feel your pain. Know that you are not alone. Please call for help. You can not know what the future may hold, what good and worthwhile things might be waiting for you. There is hope in that the future is not set and we have the power to shape our future. You need help to get through the now so please call a crisis line or someone for help.