im so tired of this. i'm tired of life. i'm holding on by a thread. i hate when my parents do nice things for me because its like blackmail to keep me going. i just want to end it. i've finished the endeavors of my life i am absolutely f**king alone! all of my friends are distant. if i want friendship i have to call them. especially since it seems most of them are in relationships or acquaintances. i'm tired of the effort. if no one gives a sh*t about me then i'm done... i've been alone ever since i was a child. i would always play alone. and now, me isolated after being in a relationship for 3 years... on the other side, he's doing great... but now that we don't even talk i don't care anymore. the hope is gone. he was my best friend and even he doesn't want me. i don't care anymore. he was my reason for caring. i feel empty. pointless. i can't see the future anymore. i think i'm dying. i want to fall into it. all i need is a reason to not care and i'm being given that.