i dont deserve thanksgiving.

i am so embarrassed of my existence

i dont deserve help for this depression

because i am a waste of time and space

why havent you died yet emily?

you have felt like this for so long?

what is stopping you?

no one notices you

no one cares

all i am good for is to be used

everyone i talk to would be better off without me in their life

nothing is helping me

i am not going anywhere

nobody needs me in their life

i am just useless and worthless

you think the same about me

i dont deserve to eat a big meal tomorrow

i dont deserve to have heat

i am such a mistake i cant even comprehend it

i know the happiness i felt wouldnt last

i have nothing to look forward to

i dont deserve half the things my family gives me

im not sure why im even here

i am just wasting their money

i ruin everyones day

especially by writing these stupid rants

it makes me feel better

but i dont even deserve to feel better

so i dont even know why i even try

i dont know why i even try with anything or anyone

i know you dont give a shit about me

i know you could care less if i wasnt in your life

the only thing i am waiting for

is to have enough courage

to get out of this game called life.

im sorry

im sorry for everything i have said or done

 

no! no! no!

Emily is wonderful! I love Emily!

Hooray for Emily!

I hope that you feel so much better soon Emily!

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

E M I L Y IS WONDERFUL AND DESERVES SO MUCH LOVE AND HAPPINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you love you I love you I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:stars: :stars: :stars:

:console: :console:

 

Emily...you deserve to be cared about and more...please listen to how ppl feel about you here and know you are valued...big hugs

 

Hi Emily,
I don't know you but I do know you've helped people on this forum.
I'm glad that it helps you to write the rants. That's a useful tool to have in combating depression. You must keep it up but you should write the 'good time' rants too, it helps balance things out.
I'm sure that you know that the absolute worse things that can be said to people with mental health problems are things like 'pull yourself together' and other such stuff. Statements like that show no understanding of mental health problems whatsoever.
I'm not going to say anything like that but I am going to ask you to think about the idea of 'Thanksgiving'. How can you not deserve it? Isn't it something that you have to do not something that is done for you? Aren't you the one supposed to be giving thanks? How can you not deserve to 'give thanks'?
Or do you mean that you have nothing to be thankful for? Which seems a bit odd because you've also said that you don't deserve the things your family gives you which means that you do have something to be thankful for.
Holiday times can be very stressful for people with mental health problems and one of the big things we all do is totally overreact to them. That's what you're doing now and it's good that you're writing it all down because you'll be able to go over it when you're feeling better and can recognise that you're overreacting. That knowledge will help you get through the next holiday and the one after that etc.
You need to see this as a learning process and at the moment, you're at the steepest curve. Hang in there, it will get easier.
xxx