I don't deserve to live

[no human involved]

I am a 40 year old repeat sex offender.
I have several mental health problems.
No work history.
No education beyond high school.
No friends or family.
I have a resent health condition that limits what food I can eat.
And now I think I have covid.
I am a drain on society.
I liability to the public.
And it is all my fault (I am the only one to blame)
I don't like being alive and nothing brings me joy.
I search the internet on how to kill myself because I want to to it right.
I am not capable of improving my life.
Also I don't want to.
I have wanted to die sinse I was seven.
It is my one desire.
The reason I am posting this is only because I can't find a reliable suicide method yet.

 

[Auri]

Hi @no human involved , welcome to SF. I'm sorry you're going through all this and feel so low about yourself. Though I believe you deserve something better than this.
You're always safe to talk with us here. Take good care.

 

[no human involved]

Hi @no human involved , welcome to SF. I'm sorry you're going through all this and feel so low about yourself. Though I believe you deserve something better than this.
You're always safe to talk with us here. Take good care.

You beleave a pedophile deserves some thing better than suffering?
You can't possibly mean that.
Your just being nice.
Thank you for that.
But we all know I am a monster
And what monsters deserve
It goes to show what a good person you are
And I'm not.

 

[kangaroo2]

You are more than welcome on here.

 

[may71]

@no human involved , certainly sexually abusing a child is a bad thing. That doesn't mean that suicide is the answer.

Maybe a therapist could help you learn not to do this. I don't know if it's possible for you to offer apologies and an explanation to children that you abused, but I think something like that could go a long way in helping them heal.

I am not capable of improving my life.
Also I don't want to.

Do you want to explain why?

I have wanted to die sinse I was seven.

That's really awful, I'm sorry.

You're welcome to say more about your past if you'd like to.

 

[JDot]

Hey @no human involved It seems you see yourself as evil. The truth is pedophilia is an illness. You didn't choose to have an illness. You recognize that you've done things wrong in your past. You may not be able to change your past. But you can change your future. I think treating yourself with self-kindness can prevent you from offending again. When you treat yourself as evil, you set yourself up for self-fulfilled prophecy. Self-kindness and self-compassion can break that pattern. You'll always have a place here to share your thoughts and feelings. We're here for you, and we're glad to have you here.

Here's a website on self-compassion I recommend https://self-compassion.org/

 

[Anonymous ID]

You should turn yourself in for the crimes you have committed if your truly out to be a better person. It is the only thing you can do to make your victims feel better. Plus it will stop you from reoffending and will make you feel better about yourself. Own up to what you have done and then take it from there.

 

[Alone2020]

I am a 40 year old repeat sex offender.
I have several mental health problems.
No work history.
No education beyond high school.
No friends or family.
I have a resent health condition that limits what food I can eat.
And now I think I have covid.
I am a drain on society.
I liability to the public.
And it is all my fault (I am the only one to blame)
I don't like being alive and nothing brings me joy.
I search the internet on how to kill myself because I want to to it right.
I am not capable of improving my life.
Also I don't want to.
I have wanted to die sinse I was seven.
It is my one desire.
The reason I am posting this is only because I can't find a reliable suicide method yet.

I can’t and won’t judge you, it may seem hopeless but I’m proof that a person can ruin their life and still be redeemed. I’m not going to lie to you, it’s not easy or without pain. I get you not wanting to live from an early age. You don’t have to answer but we’re you molested as a child ? I was and it sucks on a biblical scale ! It screws you up. In the state your in please don’t give up, I can say by experience that the other side is far worst then the pain your feelings now