I dont even know if this belongs here but...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by austinhp78, Dec 22, 2007.

  1. austinhp78

    austinhp78 Well-Known Member

    So I don’t really know if this is the place to put this but it relates to my issues and I need t talk about it… Anyways, there’s this girl that quite frankly, I believe I love. Can’t stop thinking about her and she is, at this time in my life, one of the few things that can actually make me smile. This issue that I am about to describe is pretty much one of the main causes for all of my issues. Its not that I am obsessed it is just more of my incompetence to be able to do what I need to. I guess I should add that the other factors contributing to my depression are my terrible self-esteem, lack of confidence, and aggravating home life. I am a sophomore in high school and she is a junior. At the beginning of the school year, I had known her for a year and I liked her during the previous year but I made no attempt to get closer. This year that has changed and my interest in her has increased greatly as I got to know her better. I am doing everything in my ability to get to the point where I can ask her out. One major point to bring up is that to this date, I have never been in a relationship of any sorts. Period. In this day and age, that is pretty abnormal so I am reminded of that fact daily, not to mention the fact that seeing as that I can’t talk to my parents about anything without getting in a fight, I have no one who I can just hug and let my emotions flow through. I find that I can just never let go, meaning that I almost always have pent up emotions. After about three months of getting closer to her I asked my best friend (he had been friends with her since they were young) out of desperation, to call her up, ask if she thought I liked her and what she thought of me (he pretended he had no idea). She said she thought I did like her and that at that time she only liked me as a friend. Now, a month later, I had been talking to her pretty much every day. Both in person (on the bus everyday) and on aim. She was opening up much more to me and every once in a while she will bring up the fact that she thinks that she is fat. Now, I know that this is a big load of bull so I always just explain to her why she isn't and I just try and comfort her. Now, in a much broader period of time, I realized that I was talking to her a bit too much. Realizing this, I backed off, trying to give her some space. As a result, I think she doesn’t feel as pressured anymore, and as a result, when I do talk with her, the conversations tend to be much more engaging and just better overall. Unfortunately, I have gone back to my old habits of being too caught up in the moment and freaked out to ever talk to her in person. As a result, I become infuriated with myself, only worsening my emotional state. It probably should be mentioned that I am fairly positive that she is depressed as well. in our conversations she has dropped many hints ranging from being effected by other people depression because “it hits close to home”, having something under her mouse pad that she didn’t want her mother to find (wonder what that is…), and not to mention that her parents are divorced. At this time, I haven’t the faintest idea of what she feels for me, and what is going through her head. This is probably not the place for bringing it up, but it bothers me so much and just confuses me so much. The time I spend talking with her, even the time I spend with her when I don’t talk is an adrenaline rush like none other. I feel ecstatic. All of my worries and negative emotions flood away from me in an instant. I don’t know…. I don’t want to be an inconvenience I just really need to talk about it. Any responses would be amazing. thank you for spending the time to read this… :smile:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 22, 2007
  2. the_juggalo

    the_juggalo Account Closed

    ask her out homie need any help ask me:cool:
     
  3. austinhp78

    austinhp78 Well-Known Member

    I mean, I know that's probably the right thing to do... its just easier said than done... I've got her number and all so i can call her it''s just that i don't want to completely mess up the relationship. I guess i just want to be fairly confident that she will say yes...
     
  4. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    When you ask her out do it in a way that shows you care about her and perhaps keep it very light and say, 'if you don't want to at this moment, that's okay'- letting her know that her options are open. I think you've been doing everything really well and especially on an emotional level, she seems to be responding to you.
     
  5. austinhp78

    austinhp78 Well-Known Member

    Alright thanks... i know I should ask her out I just probably wont be able to get myself to for quite a while... Holiday break is coming to a close so when i see her in person I'll try and talk to her a bit and once I feel comfortable enough maybe I'll try and ask her out on the phone or something... assuming I can manage.