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I don't even know why I came here

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by OceanBlue2, Oct 12, 2009.

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  1. OceanBlue2

    OceanBlue2 Member

    I have been dealt some extremely hard blows over the past 5 or so years. I've lost everything...my husband of 20 years died of suicide because I was initiating divorce, I lost everything in the process, and my Dad was diagnosed with cancer several months ago, and I'm staying with him now to help him out. I feel like I'm not even living anymore, and I don't know what possessed me to even sign up here. I've attempted to commit suicide and ended up in the hospital with a huge tube down my throat into my stomach 2 times, ran into traffic and I don't know how I came out of those alive. I hear suicide is the most selfish act one can commit, but I am not looking for people to tell me "it's okay", because it's not, and won't be. Maybe I'm just writing for those who know that they will do it, get to the point of not seeking help anymore, and go through with it. Maybe that's why I'm here, because I truly feel as if I'm walking through a gray mist with nothing around me. No one. It just gets worse.
  2. Seano

    Seano Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum.
  3. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum. Keep posting it will help and we will help too.

  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hiya! Welcome to the forum :)
  5. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Welcome to SF. :hug:
  6. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    welcome to SF :hug: sometimes when your in a mist its imposible to see the sunshine. but it's still there sweet. hope you find the forum helpful and that we can help you find a way through this
  7. OceanBlue2

    OceanBlue2 Member

    Thank you everyone. :) I'm going to post my story soon, and read about other's as well. Hopefully I can help out someone else too.
  8. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF.
  9. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forums.
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. I hope you are able to find your way out of that gray mist with a little help from us. :hug:
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums!! I hope you will give us a chance to show you that people do honestly care..
  12. raincloud

    raincloud Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry that you went through all that. You have every right to feel horrible. You can't change what's already happened, but I hope you reach a level of acceptance so that you can survive.

    When I first came here I didn't know why I was here, either. I guess I still don't.

    I've had a lot of bad things happen, too and I while your particular situation is unique, I definitely understand that things don't automatically "work out."

    It's okay to just vent.
  13. OceanBlue2

    OceanBlue2 Member

    Thanks so much everyone. It means a lot to me to know that there are good people out there.

    I feel deeply for everyone experiencing these feelings...people who have not had the suicidal thoughts or feelings can't understand that this is more than a phase sometimes, but our life. Reaching out like all of you have done when you're going through this yourself shows that you are all incredibly caring people. Just giving support to those who need it so badly will really create a domino effect and those people you've helped will help others too.
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