I don't even know

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by kit-kat, Mar 21, 2015.

  1. kit-kat

    kit-kat New Member

    I guess It's obvious why I'm here, why else would I come to a forum about suicide? I've actually tried a few times but these attempts were so pathetic that no one even figured out what I did. I wish they had worked though everything's just got worse and worse.

    It's just awful. Someone who is really important to me (and I suppose I could say I love them although I want to believe that love doesn't exist) hates me and will never talk to me again and fuck I think about them all the time and everything just hurts so much. I feel stupid for ever having suicidal thoughts when I knew them because stuff was a lot better then than it is now. I bet they want me to kill myself. They don't even miss me and they just left and now I'm a total mess and they're totally okay and now they have loads of friends and family that care about them and everything is pretty much perfect for them. I just want them to talk to me again. I can't handle the thought of never being able to talk to them or see them or hear their voice and I guess I took it for granted that they'd always be there. I don't think they ever liked me from the very beginning.

    School is also pretty awful and I'm failing absolutely everything. I'll never achieve anything in life and I'm completely worthless and there's no one who would even miss me and I want to do it but every method just seems so complicated and painful. I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up again.

    I just want to die is that too much to even ask

    No one will miss me
  2. Dewonderland

    Dewonderland Well-Known Member


    Take time for you.

    I don't know if I am the best or worst personn to talk to you since I am very bad with social links.
    SO I usually loose my friends ... well not all of them but almost I guess. I lose a decent amount that make me a serial-social-failure at least.

    I guess if it makes you suffer you should take some distance to find some peace in you from you.
    Especially if the friends you long the love from doesn't care about you.

    Find a few people and try to build an honest and fair relation with her/him/them.

    Fair for you. You should be able to trust them and share good moments with them but also be able to ask help if you need too.
    Fair for them. They should be able to meet you to spend funny moments, careless and free and also have your attention and care.

    right now you might find it a good thing to focus on you and your studies.