I don't even want to talk about it all

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SongIsOver, Sep 23, 2013.

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  1. SongIsOver

    SongIsOver Well-Known Member

    I feel so desperate, trapped, helpless.... Everything is so pointless, there's no answer, and I just can't take it the way things are, but there's no real solution. No real way to fix it, to make things how I need.... And I keep getting, or putting myself, into situations I can't handle, and there's just too much. Too much i'm not doing and need to do, too much crud on my shoulders, too much bad to deal with, and I can't.figure a feasible way out.
  2. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Hey there hun,
    I understand how u feel and it will get better, I promise!
    Sometimes there is so much going on, I know that feeling, but try to think about something positive in ur life, it really helps!
  3. SongIsOver

    SongIsOver Well-Known Member

    It's not a passing fleeting thing. Been going on a long, long time... varying situations with the same thing.... Nothing is okay. I'm buried, I can't find a way out, and it's killing me.
  4. nightfallagain

    nightfallagain Well-Known Member

    I am tired of people telling me that it is okay and it will get better, but SongIsOver,... I HEAR YOU!!! I too, feel the same way and as much as I want to encourage you, I cannot. My mind spins..should I or shouldn't I...can I or can't I..I just don't know what is worth anything anymore...Where are you? Call someone you trust_ NOW...
    I myself do not trust anyone and cannot decide if this fa├žade of life is worth it but you must have someone you can reach out to? Someone? Call and admit yourself to the hospital to talk to someone. Don't be like me and disregard the help that is there. I have, personally, disrupted too many unsuspected people and lost all my support.
  5. SongIsOver

    SongIsOver Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you've lost support... I know how it is when people get sick of you... I don't have any support, I just don't. Nothing is suitable. Nobody can fix this except "me" and there are not answers to actually fix it. I don't know what to do and I feel completely lost. I've screwed everything up that I've done, and I don't know how to fix my life. stuck in a situation that for survival is physically and mentally and emotionally killing me and anything that matters.... or did matter...

    At work there's a door that leads to a roof, inside we're deep in a huge building with no windows. I think about opening the door to the roof and going out there. All I want to do is escape. There's no way to escape because if it's not one black hole it's another, and after decades of trying, I no longer have the wherewithall to fake my way into a new trap, or act like I even care.
  6. Dalitamonsta

    Dalitamonsta Member

    I know how you feel. It's like life is a giant mess of colors and ur stuck in the black an white.. It's hard to find the rainbow, but the gold is out there <3
  7. SongIsOver

    SongIsOver Well-Known Member

    After 50 years of doing nothing but screwing up everything I do, to the point I'm in the entirely wrong life with no way out without devastation which I.cannot bear..i can't bear it either way, and there's no answer
  8. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    i am sorry you are feeling so bad, song is over. i do understand about not wanting to talk about it all.. with me, it's not so much not wanting to talk, it's more about how i was treated growing up- and now i asociate talking about things with punnishing bad things..

    but anyway, enough about that- i hear you. i feel the same and sometimes i wonder why i post on here because no matter what's said, i don't see a sudden cure

    oh, and to the person who said they were sick of hearing things will get better?

    those are empty words to me now. if things were meant to get better, they have had years to do so- and they just get worse every single day
  9. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way...it's getting better...thats just what my friend always keeps telling me and telling me and I want to believe it and that other believe it.
  10. SongIsOver

    SongIsOver Well-Known Member

    The situation at my job is extremely bad and I can't take it. But I can't walk away or else I'll have devastation of another kind. And I can't just get a new job. It's not that simple. I can't bear it..... now, anymore. I feel held hostage but there's no freedom to run to. I literally can't take it.
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