I don't even want to write about it.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by regna, Aug 1, 2008.

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  1. regna

    regna New Member

    It just sounds pathetic. I sound pathetic. I AM pathetic for spending my free time thinking about being dead as opposed to redirecting my energy into productive things. But I can't redirect. Not anymore.

    I'm going to cut to the chase.

    1) I have no partner or children - no one has ever loved me, no one is thinking of me, I would not be breaking anyone's heart
    2) I have very few friends, and I spend increasingly less time with them than ever before. They are busy with their own lives - work, relationships, etc. - and I believe would quickly get over it.
    3) I have been in extreme emotional pain for as long as I can remember. Clearly I'm predisposed to it. I will never change, and life will not magically become better. I'm no spring chicken, and I need the pain to stop because I've endured it for far too long.
    4) I'm not the person I was. I used to be sweet, open, trusting, kind...now I am so angry, completely closed off, a bitch much of the time. I don't like who I've become and or the first time in my life, i feel i've crossed the point of no return.

    1) I have a dog.
    2) My parents would be devastated and my brother would be furious with me.

    I'm still weighing it out, but it's almost always on my mind now. I'm just too tired.
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please don't go through with it. No matter how much you think that the world would be a better place without you, people will miss you and wonder why you didnt talk to them about how you felt. Life can improve if you just try. :hug:
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Even one reason to live is enough. Your friends would also miss you. You never know whose lives you might touch that may also be affected. Are you undergoing any types of counseling or anything? If not I would suggest you talk to your gp about the way you are feeling. You may have a chemical imbalance and that can lead to some of the issues you describe.
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Who is going to take care of the dog? he is a faithfull companion and he needs you because he has become attached to you.
    Have you set down with your family members and discussed how you are feeling? Do you know what has changed in your life to bring you to this point? You really need to weight out your feelings about what you have written in Pro's and Con's. You have one thing alot of us don't have and that is friends. The only friends I have are the ones I have met here on the forum..
    A good therapist can help you take control of your life. There are no guarantees if you aren't honest with them. Give them a chance and they will help you drag out those feelings and to learn how to change your negative thoughts into positive ones. Take Care and seek the help!!
  5. Kimi

    Kimi Well-Known Member

    If you love your parents and your dog, please don't do anything. You are loved from them.. The dog is clever and she/he will seek you desperately.. Also your parents' life will be totally changed if you are gone..

    I am totally alone and I even don't have family.. So I deserve to die instead of you..
  6. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    there are people who love you and clearly, people who you love and care about. so, for them, dont' do it. think of how your parents and everyone who cares about you would feel. it would ruin their lives. talk to someone, get help. you can get thru this.
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