well. the story of my life. again, im IP. this time though, its because they found out i was going to suicide and got me thrown in quickly. and after a little while, i admit, the thoughts got quieter. became less evident..... and i didnt want to die 24/7.... but now. im back at square one. im still IP. not on high risk anymore (even though i should be). and my doctor doesnt listen to me. i tried to break my own wrist last week. and ive managed to get a blade and some bandaids. and ive taken to myself in other harmful ways. i guess i just dont see the point of living a life that no matter what, SI and food with always be a problem. im starting to believe again that it'd be easier for everyone if i went now. rather than years down the track. i dont know. im up down up down on this one. i know the ambivilance (sp?) is apparently a good thing. but im not sure. i feel like the smallest thing is going to make me snap.... i just want to feel like i can get somewhere. my pdoc actually said to me last week that he doesnt know what to do with me. i mean, if the highest up professionals are giving up on you, isnt that a sign? sorry. im rambling. anything would be appreciated. (espcially because it takes forever to type with a wrist injury. lol). thanks. please help. t. xxxx.