I feel so low right now, I have no friends in real life and trust me I've tried to get friends but I can't find any friends. Anytime I feel like I can't cope I want to drown myself in drugs to the point of killing myself. Most of my real life friends have stopped talking to me. I'm always looking for new people on the internet to talk to but they eventually get bored with talking to me and I cry so bad and think there's something wrong with me. I'm diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and PTSD cause I was sexually abused by my real father. Right now I'm not doing anything with my life cause I don't know what I want out of life, I feel like such a loser right now. I constantly make threads on Forums but nobody takes me seriously and shrug it off like it's nothing serious. So I figured I should post on here cause I'm at my lowest point in my life right now. There's nothing going for me, I have no friends, no job cause of my disorder cause it's gotten to the point where I feel like I can't even get out of bed. Just wish there was someone who cared about me. That's all I want, someone to tell me that they care, that they'll listen to what I have to say and that they won't judge me. However the people I meet end up judging me or not taking me seriously. There's so much that I've been through and I just want to live a happy life. Sometimes I feel like I'm being punished, like during High School I was constantly bullied and named called by people. I've been in a domestic violence relationship and raped by my ex boyfriend and it took me 2 years to get out of that relationship cause I wanted to help him, I felt like there was something that I could do. After I left him, he entered my life again and talked to me but I knew that was a bad idea so I deleted him off of my Facebook and he stayed away shortly afterwards which I'm happy about. The reason I started talking to him again is cause I thought he would change and become a better person but I was wrong. He was abusing another girl at that moment and blaming her for everything. I was mad at myself for talking to him, so I deleted him. Sorry for going on from one subject to the next but my thoughts are so scrambled right now that I can't even think straight.