I don't feel like I can go on anymore....

[17th]

Basically, I can't find a job to save my life. I've been trying and trying and trying, but I just can't catch a fucking break. Every time a member of my family asks how I'm doing, I always have to tell them that I'm still not working. This always ends up turning into some discussion about trying to get me to go back to school for the third goddamn time.

The problem is, I'm a failure at school. The work is always too hard for me and I'm not interested in much of anything, and if I tell my parents that, I always get told that "I'm not trying hard enough". Fuck that. I've tried to do the college thing twice already. It never works out.

So I've been trying to find a job for the past year and a half, listening to everybody's shit about how I'm not doing anything, and it's been making me feel like crap. I've even signed up for a temporary employment facility, and still can't find any work. Nearly every day, I always have these thoughts floating in the back of my mind that I should just kill myself and save myself the feeling of misery. I'm so sick of always seeing everybody else around me achieving things and blowing through college or landing jobs like it were nothing at all, while I need to struggle so hard to even get half of that success.

I just can't take much more of this.

 

[palmtrees]

The job market sucks right now... but there are jobs out there. Where are you trying to work? Have you worked before and if so where? What are you good at? Where would you like to work? Where WOULDN'T you like to work? I've definitely been in that position before but things did get much better for me.

 

[17th]

That's another problem with me in that I've hardly worked at all. If I didn't waste my time with school, I could have had some experience and probably would have an easier time trying to find a job.

I don't really care what I do, but I always think about working in a warehouse or something. Lifting boxes and all that other crap. I don't really have any skills, but I wish just for once somebody would give me a fucking chance.

 

[palmtrees]

but I wish just for once somebody would give me a fucking chance.

Yeah, I know how that can be...

If you have a couple of months a good way to get employed is to volunteer somewhere. Hospitals, libraries, police stations, a lot of these places have volunteer positions open. You can work there for awhile and then either get a decent reference and something to put on your resume, or you'll make contacts to get a job or at least ask about open positions.

 

[17th]

I could try that, but knowing my horrible luck, that probably wouldn't even help much in getting me an actual job.