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I don't feel real...

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Things, Mar 4, 2010.

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  1. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    There's probably not much point in making this board. I don't know if I'm looking for advice or what. I guess I just need to vent.

    It's hard to explain. I spend a lot of time in my own head. Making up new places or scenes for my characters. When something happens to me, I immiediatly think or make up a similar situation for a certian character.

    The problem is, I feel like I don't spend enough time in the real world. When I'm depressed, I feel like I have to "kick out" my characters so I can be alone. I'm worried that I'm only going to get more stuck in my own mind, if that makes any sense.

    Sometimes, they feel more...real than I do. They have more complete personalities and memories than me. I don't feel like I know myself. When I make introductions at forums or something, I rarely have anything to say about myself. But when it comes to my ideas, I don't shut up. It's like I'm disinterested in myself.

    Like I said, I'm not sure why I'm posting this. Maybe to see if anyone has a similar problem, or an explaination?
  2. jnine

    jnine Well-Known Member

    apologies Things,

    are your charaters an internal reality or for some other kind of external reality?
    do you want to give more information about your charaters?
  3. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    I don't understand the question. I'm sorry, I'm kind of slow.

    Well, there's this character named Ralph. He's one of my closest and oldest. I use him for role plays, and he's the most developed of my characters. I've based a few of his relantionships from my own (for example: I had a friend that betrayed me, so did he. I have family members that express affection through joking and humor, so does he. Though he doesn't joke back much). He struggles with depression, but he handles it better as he grows and matures.

    I put myself in a lot of characters, at least one or two traits.

    There's another I'm working on, Germany. He used to be an Invader Zim fancharacter, but I'm planning on making him star in his own comic (is a depression/suicide comic. I was hoping it'd help me cope). Like me, he has aspergers and is suicidal. He's also hyper-sensitive and socially anxious. Unlike me, he's actively trying to get help.

    ....frick, see what I mean? I can go on and on like this. :/
  4. jnine

    jnine Well-Known Member

    sorry to be vague in my question,

    are your charaters all for Role playing games?
  5. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    Many of them are, Ralph is. In fact, I only use him to role play with a friend (I've mentioned her before).

    I rp'ed with Germany too, when he used to be a fancharacter.
  6. jnine

    jnine Well-Known Member

    i'm not sure that having really well developed charaters is a bad thing, it might even be a good thing. I don't think they are what preventing you from spending more time in the real world. Excluding your charaters what might be keeping you from spending more time in the real world?
  7. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    Well, having developed characters isn't really a bad thing. I'm just worried that I'n over-occupied with them, I guess. It's hard to explain what I mean. :/

    Can you repeat the question? I don't understand. Sorry again, I'm really uh, out of it today I think.
  8. jnine

    jnine Well-Known Member


    i'm a bit out of things today too.

    Having really well developed and detailed charaters is part of RPG, it's some of what makes that kind of game so attractive. But i don't think they can be what's stopping you from doing other kinds of things.

    Do you have interests outside of role playing games?

    Like a sport
    or other group activity?

    or something solitary like photography?

    what could you do to spend more time in the real world?
  9. smk

    smk Well-Known Member

    In the one sense it would be impossible to separate your characters from their source of origin which is you.

    Sometimes right before leaving the house people will take a look in the mirror and create a character of themselves in which to interact with the world. The image that one wants other to see...

    Those roles are played because we know the outcome of playing those roles, and is a way to predict and control the thoughts of others.

    That you are able to fabricate an ulterior version of yourself is because you posses creativity...is like a chess game, the player thinking moves ahead, in your case you the player have created your own pawns, rooks, knights, chest pieces.

    That distance however between yourself and the world is a matter of perception, and perceptions are...fabrications of the mind perhaps.

    Think about how and why those characters by other people that you recognize came to be, you might just be one of the creative kind of people...
  10. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    Jnine - Ah, I understand now.

    Well, I like drawing and writing. I also like to watch cartoons...but none of those really make me spend a lot of time in the real world. I need new interests, it seems. :/

    Smk - Hmm, that's a very interesting way to look at it. I've never really thought of these characters as my pawns and knights, but I can definitely see what you mean.

    Yeah, I feel too distanced from everything. I couldn't think of how to word it earlier, until I read your post. Like I'm going to miss something, because I'm stuck in my own fantasy world...
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