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I don't fit in anywhere

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ColdSummer, Feb 26, 2008.

  1. ColdSummer

    ColdSummer Well-Known Member

    I am a loser. I useless invisible spek of nothingness. I have no friends, cant make friends. all relationships i find myself in i always get hurt or left. It's happened all my life from childhood till now. I have an avoidant personality disorder, cant stand big public gatherings, cant stand being around strangers, it's hard enough to just leave the safety of my house. I hate being this way, yet i dont want to out. I just feel different to everyone else, they must think i am a freak, I just wish i fitted in somewhere. I just feel so socially inept now.
  2. Dreamer uk

    Dreamer uk Well-Known Member

    Me too. I wish I could just stay at home and go into hibernation.

    I don't know where to look or what to say, I just can't respond to strangers properly. I'm not normal. I did find the antidepressants helped me a lot though.

    The only communal place I fit in is an internet forum.
  3. Hatemylife88

    Hatemylife88 Well-Known Member

    Yeah same here. I usually get panic attacks from a lot of people, i dont know what to do either:sad:

    BOLIAO Guest

    I'm like you too.
  5. taranama

    taranama Well-Known Member

    i try to meet new people..but they always hate me because i'm "odd"..... yeah, i laugh if someone falls down, cos its funny... its always been the same since i moved to this shitty place.
  6. Fishman

    Fishman Guest

    I try and be friendly with people, but most of the time it just results in me getting used or abused...plenty of sharks out there.
  7. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    I'm avoidant too, not that I'd say I have a personality disorder but I do agree with avoidance in terms of being terrified of relationships..

    Do you have any ideas of what you could do, if you did want out, any avenues that you could take? It does sound like you have an idea of an 'out' but that 'out' is too scary at the moment which is completely fine and understandable :hug:

    I don't want to fit in anywhere but I am fortunate to have people I like in my life which is all I want.

    I don't think you're useless or invisible for having no friends, as having friends doesn't mean you're a worse person than people who do have friends. I'm sure you have a lot to give and you're far from useless but I do hear what you say about feeling alienated from everyone because you feel so trapped. Do you see a counsellor?
  8. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    I'm pretty much the same. I can be sociable and outgoing if I have to be but I don't really want to be. I don't like going out. I just want to stay at home. Forever. If someone calls, I don't answer. If someone comes to the door, I don't open it. I just wait for them to go away.

    I'll go out if there's something I have to do and I don't feel "strange" like people are watching me or anything. I just don't like being out of my house. It's really weird. I don't live the same way other people do. I stay up all night and sleep all day.

    My sister came to see me once and she just seemed incredulous that I don't want companionship. She asked me how I do it. By myself all the time. To me, it's normal. I can't imagine it being any other way and I don't want it to be.
  9. downnout

    downnout Well-Known Member

    Ditto. I wish I could just spend the rest of my life on a deserted island somewhere.
  10. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    ColdSummer -

    Me too. And I'm like Mark: "The only communal place I fit in is an internet forum." Very well said.

    The only difference between us is I know I'm not a loser for being this way. I know I matter and have worth.

    Anyway, meet a friend. :shake: