Most people seem to feel as though if they just were in a relationship, or had a significant other, that they would be happy. For me, if I could only be alone I would be happy. I have been married all my adult life, have family, etc., and all I feel is a sense of beng sucked dry. I'm the moron who is there for everybody, that everybody thinks is this stupid tower of strength, so they all lean on me. And I'm left with everyone leaning on me, and yet I can't lean on them in turn. So, what's the point. I'd kill to be alone. Gladly. In fact that is why I so often think of suicide. I'd get away from my miserable family, and rotten bastard of a husband. Maybe then I could take care of me, and not have everyone else to care for. All of them, literally sucking the life out of me. And every time I start to build myself up a bit, they just knock me down. I don't have the strength to keep getting up anymore. God, I wish they would go away and leave me alone. For anyone who thinks that having that "special" person is going to solve all your problems, it won't. And it may just make things a whole lot worse.