I don't get it..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Corieh Infected, Jan 21, 2008.

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  1. Corieh Infected

    Corieh Infected Well-Known Member

    I've recently found out that my social anxiety, isn't fully social anxiety, part of it is seperation anxiety. When I'm around people and my mom, or my little brother is there, I feel absolutely fine, I act myself, weird and goofy and everyone loves it. But when they're not around, it's like the only people who have my back around gone.

    Me, being the pessimist I am, can't help thinking that they're going to be gone someday, and that day might be soon.. They're like, my backbone, I couldn't function even remotely without my brother or my mom. It seems like they're the only ones around here who care enough to stick up for me.

    The fact that, they can't always be around, and that I know I depend on them, is making me feel a bit pathetic, a lot pathetic, actually.. I just, keep looking at methods to die, and forming plans in my head, I can't help it..

    I'm fourteen, shouldn't be this attached..
     
  2. If you are so attatched and care about them so much, would you really want to give up that great bond for your own death? Being very attatched is not pathedic at all, your very lucky you can say such great things about your family- many other people wish they could be much closer to theirs. If you value them so much, maybe you should just try to find a way to be with them more if it gives you such anxiety to be away from them, did you try talking about it? Death wont help you get you to spend more time with them.
     
  3. Corieh Infected

    Corieh Infected Well-Known Member

    Mmn..

    I put too much stress on them, being the trouble child and stuff. I really think they'd be okay without me.. I mean, my brother and I are attached to each other.. Sometimes it seems like we're about to kill each other, and sometimes I hate him with everything I have, but when we're not mad at each other, we're closer than I've ever seen siblings be. I just hate being a bad rolemodel for him.. He's just a kid.
     
  4. LILICHIPIE

    LILICHIPIE Well-Known Member

    you are fourteen
    im not minimazing your pain but it is common thought - well it was for me so i wont rule it as a very common thought- to ask urself about life death loss
    im glad youve started medication but look ahead and think you are fourteen and the world to go on

    hugs
     
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