I Don't Get It.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by ScarsandHopes, Dec 15, 2008.

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  1. ScarsandHopes

    ScarsandHopes Well-Known Member

    Today was a pretty decent day.. I was happy and enjoying myself most of the time. But, then I got home, sat down, and a tear started coming down my face. And just like a large rock in the ocean, I sink.

    What's wrong with me? Why can't I just stay happy throughout the day, the week, the month... The year.

    I don't even remember what made me this way, what happened, what changed? Hell, I can't even remember when it happened. All I can remember is that I was once always happy.

    You see, the problem with me is that I DO take chances, but I'm afraid when I do. Like this for example, I asked a girl out and I'm awaiting an answer. Good, right? WRONG. See, I view this as wrong because if she does say no for whatever reason and down the line I kill myself, it then feels like it was because of that that I did it. And I REALLY don't want that. If I do kill myself it's because of me, not rejection...

    So, here I sit. Desperate for something real. I hope, I hope every day, every second. I act, I act on every action that I see benefiting myself or someone else. But, this is my true question... Is that enough? Is it enough to hope and act? Is it enough that I dedicated my life to finding something real? I can feel it... Sometime soon I'll pull the trigger unless that something real does come along. I'm just so cold... Tired... Alone :blub:
     
  2. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    For Lord's sake don't use a fucking gun. You know how uncertain that is?

    You don't, do you.

    Do you want to wind up hospitalized for the rest of a miserable life being spoon-fed?

    Let's not thinking about pulling "triggers."

    "This is my true question. Is it enough to hope and act? Is it enough that I dedicated my life to finding something real?"

    Well it's a rhetorical question with no concrete answers. Philosophy considers and weighs those kinds of questions, Hopes. I'll see what I can find for you. :smile:
     
  3. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    "Is it enough to hope and act? Is it enough that I dedicated my life to finding something real?"

    These "ss it enough" question in your context can only be answered by you. They are personal- and value-based -- but on your values. That you may try and fail to find love in life does not make you a failure except to the extent you judge yourself so.

    You are not the only unhappy lonely soul out there. Would you KILL your fucking self over it? Well, there's depression, then there's a practical decision to end your life (the latter of which I don get, but...)

    "I feel it... Sometime soon I'll pull the trigger unless that something real does come along."

    You playing dice God?

    Huh? You'll lose boy.

    "...unless that something real does come along." No, no. You cannot place conditions on life. I mean, I'm sorry. But there are never guarantees.


    O/T but a few fun quotes from Nietzsche:

    A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    All truth is simple... is that not doubly a lie?
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Without music, life would be a mistake.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    :smile: ToHelp
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 16, 2008
  4. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    Heh. Intentional double post just in case I lose anther again.... (It was over an hour to write.) Really, I take my efforts seriously; anything but flippant. :)

    "Is it enough to hope and act? Is it enough that I dedicated my life to finding something real?"

    These "ss it enough" question in your context can only be answered by you. They are personal- and value-based -- but on your values. That you may try and fail to find love in life does not make you a failure except to the extent you judge yourself so.

    You are not the only unhappy lonely soul out there. Would you KILL your fucking self over it? Well, there's depression, then there's a practical decision to end your life (the latter of which I don get, but...)

    "I feel it... Sometime soon I'll pull the trigger unless that something real does come along."

    You playing dice with God?

    Huh? You'll lose boy.

    "...unless that something real does come along." No, no. You cannot place conditions on life. I mean, I'm sorry. But there are never guarantees.


    O/T but a few fun quotes from Nietzsche:

    A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    All truth is simple... is that not doubly a lie?
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Without music, life would be a mistake.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    :smile: ToHelp
     
  5. ScarsandHopes

    ScarsandHopes Well-Known Member

    I dare not place dice with god, I'm instead playing dice with myself. It's a 50/50.

    And to the gun statement. Good lord, I've tried everything else, quite literally. 240 attempts, I'm sure I've said it before ;_;
     
  6. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    You count it by number??
     
  7. ScarsandHopes

    ScarsandHopes Well-Known Member

    I used to keep a notebook documenting every attempt, and it's details. So, if one didn't work, I could determine what went wrong, and not make the same mistake twice.

    The psych ward took away from me about a year ago. But, I was so used to knowing, I didn't stop counting.
     
  8. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    Well. you've made the same mistake 239 TIMES. *eek* Nah but see I just don't know what to do for people you, Hopes. Bound and determined, obsessed and not to be deterred.

    Ya got me.

    I'm stumped. Just DON'T make attempt #241 using a gun. Or Liquid Drano or, or... You know. Avoid chancing unimaginable pain.

    Fair enough, you think?
    ToHelp
     
  9. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

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