I don't get life?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by bourne, Sep 22, 2008.

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  1. bourne

    bourne Member

    A lot of people seem to be suicidal because there's something that has caused them pain, and the pain or hopelessness surrounding it is so great that they can't see how it will ever end. They take anti-depressants to lessen those negative feelings, or want others to show them that they care or are there to help, etc.

    I can understand where people like that are coming from, but it's never been my issue.

    My issue is I plain don't understand life. Very few people can say that they're truly happy in their lives, that they're completely satisfied. Either their job sucks, their family life isn't pleasant, they're single and hate being alone... whatever the reason, there's a lot of unhappy people out there.

    So what makes them push on? How can they continue trudging forward when they aren't happy?

    What is it that makes somebody motivated to get out of bed so they can be on time for the job they hate? Or even if they don't hate the job, wouldn't they rather be somewhere else?

    I really don't understand it.

    I don't believe in any kind of afterlife. I think that when you're dead that's it, you no longer exist. If that's the case what would it matter if you're dead or alive, really? Yeah there's some people who will be upset if you're gone, but what does it matter? They're going to die too someday.

    If we're dead and no longer exist we wouldn't have any regrets about being dead, or those people who were sad that we died, they wouldn't even exist to be sad anymore.

    It just seems that ultimately everything is meaningless, so how do people put forth so much effort to protect and pro-long their life when they're unhappy living it? It seems so pointless, so insignificant. If I thought there was something after life I'm sure my outlook would be different, but I don't.

    Every day I wake up and try to fill another day so that I'm not bored out of my mind (which I usually am) and I dread going to sleep because all it means is there's going to be yet another day that has to be filled. And for what? Many times I've thought of laying face first on the pillow and slipping away, or take some pills and go lay down in a shower. I'm not saying this because I'm going to do it or because I want attention, I'm saying it because I don't want to keep thinking it and never tell anyone. I want you to be able to understand just how much this question confuses me.

    So what am I missing? Where does the motivation to live come from? To push through the crap you have to deal so that you can live a bit longer, all the while not being happy with your existence?

    I don't feel sad about anything. I'm not feeling any pain about any issues. There's nothing I can even think of that I want (not anything that's possible at least). All I feel is confused and frustrated, day-in-day-out. I watch people going about their lives and I truly don't understand how or why they do what they do.
  2. Aleth

    Aleth Well-Known Member

    Sounds like you're having an existential crisis. Religions fill that void for alot of people. If you don't believe in any of those, then philosophically life is about seeking pleasure and avoiding pain, the base motivation of any animal.
    If there is no pleasure in life whatsoever, then you are in trouble, because you have no comforting mytho-religious beliefs to fall back on.
  3. SweetVitriol

    SweetVitriol Antiquitie's Friend

    Bourne.. I can understand where you are coming from.. I live day to day trying to come to terms with the cruelty of this world..Why the good die young yet the shallow self-serving jerks of this world just carry on..

    The only way I survive is to practice random acts of kindness..To prove to myself that my humanity still exists..That I have not been removed from the kinship I once felt for others around me.. I do not care that they are not reciprocated for I cannot change others or the way that they are..But I can prove to myself that I am still a compassionate human being..

    You are not an outsider...You are one of a rare breed...Someone who has not sold their soul for the materialistic shallow crap that predominates in this world..And I salute you for that..The very fact that you question this existence proves that..

    "We live as we dream, alone
    To break the spell we mix with the others
    We are not born into isolation
    But sometimes it feels that way..."

    Gang of Four​
  4. bourne

    bourne Member

    What would someone do in that case?

    There truly is no pleasure or enjoyment. I've had chronic boredom for many years, well over half my life. I have no desire to do anything, there's a complete lack of motivation.

    I've been a literal shut-in for around 5 years now because I don't enjoy doing anything. I can't get myself up and out the door... there's no motivation to do so.
  5. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    Hey bourne,

    I can identify entirely with what you're saying. I've been feeling the same for about 2 years now. Nothing I seem to do brings any enjoyment or happiness. I used to do a lot of things that was enjoyable to me e.g. racket ball, play guitar, watch television and even working on my studies. I am now filled with this void to fill, and cannot find anything to fill it with. Everything I do seems to be pointless..

    As far as advice goes, I can only offer this.. Try to exercise more. The body produces endorphins when you exercise which leaves you feeling somewhat better and more confident. I'm trying to take it day by day in the hope that someday I'll get back some enjoyment in the things that I do, although I know there is no guarantee. Anyways, best of luck to you!
  6. purplefizz

    purplefizz Senior Member

    I get these same thoughts. I wonder why people keep going, why they do the things they do, why we follow social order, etc. etc. Thinking about it will drive you crazy. Maybe you could try to rise above the everyday boringness of life. It truly is your life. You don't have to live by society's rules. In this kind of crisis, it makes sense that you'd want to die. But why not live? What else have you got to do? You may as well keep going and try to enjoy yourself. Life is worth living simply because there is nothing better to do. If there's no point in living, then there's certainly no point in dying.

    Try to not think about it all so much. You will never find the answers. Try new things, maybe do a complete 180 in your lifestyle. It's worth a try.
  7. happypeople

    happypeople Active Member

    Reading your post feels almost like i typed that up myself, im in the exact same situation you are. the hell are we gonna do i dont know, maybe one day our mindsets will change, maybe not.
  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Bourne. It sounds like to me that you're trying to find the purpose of your existence? We all want to know why it is that we were put here on earth and what we need to accomplish while we're here. Try looking inward for these answers through some form of spirituality like yoga or meditation. Ask God to help you find your purpose in life and to help motivate you to find it. :hug:
  9. bourne

    bourne Member

    That's the thing though, I don't believe that there is a purpose, or that there's any point to praying or asking God for anything (assuming there is such a God and it's listening).

    Honestly I think one of my problems is that I grew up in a very religious household where I was always told there's a purpose for me, there's a reason why everyone is put here, etc. I somewhat believed that, and so rather than making a purpose for myself and finding my own way I looked for guidance or direction...

    Well if there's nothing there (not to turn this into a religious debate - I've just never seen anything to make me believe there is), then looking for guidance is going to mean you'll be searching forever.

    There's got to be some way to feel the desire or motivation to move forward in life without having to resort to spirituality. I know it works for a lot of people, and I do appreciate your taking the time to suggest it, but I've been down that route and for me it led nowhere.

    Once again it's 5AM in the morning and I'm still awake because I don't want to sleep, since it means I'll wake up to yet another day to fill. It drives me up the wall that I don't feel any motivation to move forward. Even the frustration of being stuck isn't enough to motivate.

    This has been going on for so long, life not making sense. I left high school before graduating because of this thinking (and it's still not a decision I regret). That was 7 years ago, and I'd struggled with the pointlessness of it for years before that.

    I don't understand what you mean? :unsure: If when we're dead we cease to exist, we wouldn't even know of the worthwhile things we've done during our life. If there's no point in living wouldn't that make it no different than being dead? The only difference would be the boredom, frustration, and exhaustion we experience in life would no longer exist for us. And if there is an afterlife, maybe it's better than what we have now.
  10. sicksadworld

    sicksadworld Member

    This reminds me of a conversation I had with someone once about God. God doesn't need you to be mindful of him. I think it is an act of hubris to demand proof, either you believe or you don't.
  11. Aleth

    Aleth Well-Known Member

    In theory there is a solution to this, although its not something that is particularly easy to accomplish. General lack of interest in things is usually a symptom of one type of depression. In the old days they used to call it melancholy.

    Anyway if you suddenly found yourself with a new life -- a good, challenging job, a successful relationship, and an active social life with interesting pastimes, or at least a good mixture of these things -- you would no doubt find that the feelings of despondency would just fade away. The only real cure for chronic boredom, and depression, is lots of positive stimuli.

    But thats the catch, you need some energy and motivation in the first place to accomplish change. I don't know where you find that when you are running low.

    The philosophical questions about life tend to go away if you are distracted enough and find some enjoyment in things.
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