I dont give a fuck anymore

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by among the stars, Apr 7, 2009.

  1. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    i dunno where to put this, i dont care if it gets moved, i dont care if anyone replies cuz i kno no one will... i kno i have worn out my welcome in chat and in the forums
    everynite i just sit here and cry, i feel so much blame for moms death and for hurting so many ppl....i have hurt everyone i ever cared for...i kno i am bothersome to all, not worth anyones time.
    after what happened tis morning with the sh....i cant even hurt myself correctly i am such a failure....all i see in the mirror is a ugly failure.
    i dont wanna feel pain anymore
    i dont wanna cry anymore
    i dont care if this gets deleted, i wish i had somethings to just do it with...knives, a match, a gun anything, ANYTHING! Im so tired of hurting and ignoring my pain when i see someone else hurt i dont y i care i wish i didnt. I wish everyone would hate me so i could could do it.
    And for those of u who think this is another stupid post that means Nothing, just remember this, its coming from my heart, its what i feel 24/7 and i dont care if u dont believe me....u dont feel my pain none of u ever will! None of u will ever feel the stabbing pain of ur mothers death like i do, u'll never feel the excrutiating buring pain like i do....AD IF ANY OF U THINK IM NOT BURNING LIKE I SAY I AM THEN ILL SEND U THE FUCKING PICTURES TO PROVE IT....NONE OF U WILL EVER KNO WHAT IT FEELS LIKE.....
    AND NEVER TELL ME THAT THERAPY OR DOCTORS CAN HELP CUZ THEY WONT!!! I WAS TOLD OVER AND OVER TAHT ID GET LOCKED UP FOR THE WAY I AM!!! NO ONE WILL EVER UNDERSTAND THAT, I MEAN COME ON HOW CAN I EXPECT PPL WHO DONT KNOW ME TO UNDERSTAND THAT FROM THE TIME I WAS 10 TIL I WAS 19, I SAW NOTHING BUT MY MOM IS PAIN....I MEAN COME ON MOST OF U OUT THERE STILL HAVE UR MOM OR BOTH UR PARENTS.....WHO MOST OF U DONT CARE ABOUT!! ONLY ONE MEMBER HERE KNOWS MY STORY OR AT LEAST 90% OF IT.... FUCK THIS IM NOT GONNA BOTHER TALKING ANYMORE....IF NONE OF THIS MAKES U STOP AND THINK THEN DONT BOTHER ANSWERING, DONT EVEN BOTHER TALKING TO ME....
     
  2. jamie2

    jamie2 Active Member

    I might not know what is going on in your life, but I do know what it feels like to see your mom go. Right now my mom is dying from Alzheimer's disease, and I don't know what to do about it, I feel guilty about it ever day cause I don't know what to do. Additionally, I know how it feels like to be extremely depressed by this. Right now, I am very depressed and I feel this very tight feeling around my head, and I no longer can cope well with it, but I hope that everything will get better for you. At least know that someone does care about your situation. Take Care, and hope you get better.
     
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    People do care. I may not know what you're going through because I'm fairly new and haven't read many of your posts. But I do care, and if you want to talk, I'm around a lot.