I don't half make my mistakes....

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by meaningless-vessel, Oct 7, 2013.

  1. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    And so I screw up yet again.

    I used Facebook to make a point of the communication aspect that's been missed by my oldest brother and his partner - and neither of them were particularly happy with what I had to say. (Not that I expected it - in fact I expected worse than what I actually got).

    But they want an apology to my sister-in-law because she was going through a rough spell with her grandfather in a home/not recognising her - and I went public rather than via private message (which while not the best way to have handled it - was just a statement of the fact that it was a way to keep in touch regardless of my phone being on or off that my brother had used for an excuse) - even though I had tried to battle with myself saying it/not saying it. In the end - I couldn't keep it in much longer without being a complete arse.

    How I feel is obviously unimportant - and I've upset others yet again. If I apologise I'm going against what I feel. If I don't apologise, there could be family friction. It's a no-win situation.
     
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I had a similar situation with a cousin, we now no longer speak. :(
    Weigh up if it is worth losing these people from your life or not and if it means apologise for the sake of peace, then I'd do it.
    Things have a way of escalating, as I know to my own cost, and sometimes it's the bigger person who just eats crow.
    I wish I'd been that person.
     
  3. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    There are ways to address concerns and to express our feelings, but sometimes they need to be done in a less pubic manner. It sounds like the issues you face are not rejection of your feelings, but rather in the manner in which they were made so public. You state that you think the way you feel is unimportant, but I don't perceive it as being that at all. I find that Facebook works best when kept light, and for positive things. Terry has some good advice up above and by making things right in their eyes, you're not really allowing how you feel to become unimportant. I think your feelings are important, just pull it back and then re-present it in perhaps a different and less public manner.
     
  4. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    I am considering only apologising for making it publicised. Apologising for saying how I feel though I am a lot less prepared to do.

    It took my outburst to actively find out for myself that my sister in law had gone through this rough patch. But only because I said what I thought/felt. Had I continued to battle with myself over whether or not to say it, I wouldn't have necessarily known.