I have really bad anxiety, since eighth grade I lost all my friends and self esteem. I'm out of high school now and I don't want to live like this, I don't know what to do, I don't even want to cut anymore, my legs are already ruined so there's no point. My only friend (I don't call her that anymore) I haven't seen in weeks, and she seemed like she didn't even want to talk to me last time I saw her, as in, she ignored me to talk to my mom. After that I didn't eat for days and almost killed myself. Every time my drunk mom (who has the maturity of an eight year old) comes up to tell me I'm lazy and everyone thinks I'm a weirdo and my hair is ugly and stupid looking it doesn't help. I just sit in my bed every single day watching YouTube. I don't even know why I'm posting this.