I came across this with hope that I would be able to deal with the trapped anger and loneliness that I can't express to my coworkers or family. I live in a smaller town and am a caregiver with a fairly large presence, so I'm constantly stuck in a place of wanting to lose my shit but afraid it will discredit me or make me seem less reliable because I'm a hot mess. Lately I've been noticing my judgement with respect to personal choices is bizarre. With social and professional situations I'm more of a non-reactor than ever before. As the first decade of my adulthood (after high school) was spent as a very independent girl chasing a difficult career, I've conditioned myself to pull away from any sort of emotion, especially if anyone bonds to me. Instead I hide behind my facts and science, under the cover of being a nerd (which I actually think is cool but the world hasn't figured out yet). Right now I've been in the same town for 6 years and I've never done anything for that long. I want to bomb it all and start over again at zero, but my six figure loan prohibits that. I feel like I'm just hanging around for the responsibility towards my patients, and my grandma who I visit in her care home every week. Is anyone else on here having problems with compassion fatigue and burying every emotion?