I don't have friends.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by weepinghearts, Jan 10, 2015.

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  1. weepinghearts

    weepinghearts New Member

    Ever since preschool I had trouble making friends, I was friends with a girl in preschool that would push me and make me fall. In elementary school, I was friends with a girl in 2nd grade who later in 5th grade said she didn't want to be my friend anymore. By then, I decided to just get used to not having friends who would stay by my side. Then I went to middle school, and then that's when I met these 3 really nice friends in 7th grade, who I thought I could trust and be close to forever. I thought wrong, it wasn't until the end of 8th grade (after being friends with them for almost 2 years) when we were hanging out having fun, that the next day... one of them decided to text me and say "I don't want to hang out with you again. You're so fake" I was completely unaware of what I had done. I went on Facebook because I just wanted to get my mind off of what happened, and since we were friends on Facebook I saw what she had posted. It was a post that said "ha who cares! I've lost friends before" and tagged several people, 3 girls had commented with "exactly!" and "totally! She was too fake anyway" I was so confused at what I had done to deserve this. Then that following week the other friend had called me a "bitch" "You're so fake" and that really made me upset. Then during summer break, the third friend didn't want to talk to me ever again because I forgot to tell her happy birthday when she had forgotten mine also. Then I went to high school, and I just so happened to have 2 classss with the girl that called me a "bitch" in middle school, every time I would walk by her in the hallway, she would give me an angry glare. I would see her in class continuing to look at me and snicker with her friends, when I would turn my paper in, her friends and her would look at me and then laugh behind my back. I also so happened to sit right next to all of them, which was dreadful. She also seems to happen to be friends with the nicest girl in high school, and the nicest girl in school hates me and has attitude with me when I first met her. I wonder why?? -_- I once got sent in the office because someone had told the principal that they heard her talking about shooting me. Well now I'm a sophomore, and that girl from middle school is finally ignoring me. A month ago during winter break, a new best friend that I made freshman year (who would practically live in my house because of all the sleepovers we had) texted me saying "you're fake as fuck" I had never felt so upset, it took me about a week to recover. Everything reminded me of her, I had told her so many secrets and we had so many inside jokes. I promise on everything on my life, that I hadn't done anything at all, I had never said anything about her whatsoever. I could not enjoy Christmas anymore. Then second semester started, and I became friends with my new friends sister.... terrible mistake. I was once seen talking to her sister and just laughing and having a good time, and then the friend had thought that I was talking about her. Yesterday, I received a text with a long paragraph about how I'm a terrible friend who's nothing but fake and how I never really was her friend. She also indirected me on Twitter about how I'm so fake. I'm just tired of everything, I can't feel comfortable in school anymore... I feel like everyone hates me. I wish school was for striving to get good grades, instead of DRAMA. Never in my life have I ever talked bad about a person with my friends, I don't understand the point of gossiping about people???? It's a waste of time. Basically almost all my close friends have called me fake... and so I start to think am I really fake? Like if everyone says so, I probably am? If people constantly tell you the same repeated things, you start to believe it.... which is happening to me. All I want to do right now is just isolate myself from everybody at school, I can't trust anybody anymore.
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering. Friends and so called friends can be cruel. Firstly, you must remain calm and YOU ARE NOT FAKE. Remember you are an individual and very young at moment. You are currently fragile but you need to speak to someone about the situation as it can get out of hand. You need to tell your parents as they would be worried about you.

    Currently you are hurting which is understandable and your whole world is turned upside down. Please do not stress and do not isolate yourself from anyone as that will cause you more emotional turmoil. You are important and please keep remembering that. I am glad that you have joined this community as it will help get through this tough time.

    You need to maintain focus on your studies and continue about your daily routine. Do not worry about your so-called friends as they may continue to cause you more hurt. At your sophomore, can you speak to a counsellor in confidence about the situation?

    It might be worth not associating with the friends who said cruel things. I know it will be awkward socially but you have not done anything wrong at all. Finally keeping posting here for the emotional support you richly deserve.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 10, 2015
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