darkness surrounds me at all times, i'm weighed down by so much grief and sadness it takes too much energy to life the sheets off my bed and get up. i've been battling this for 11 years now, and i wonder how much longer i can take this until i decide to give up and leave this life forever. sometimes i just want to find a tall building to jump off of, so i no longer feel this pain, this torment. i don't care what anyone thinks, there are little good people left in this world, no good or warm hearts to carry me along. everyone just pulls me down even farther.