I don't know any more what to do....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Izzie, Dec 31, 2007.

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  1. Izzie

    Izzie New Member

    :wink:Hi, I'm a girl from Holland, you may think why a American page if youre Dutch.
    Thats because I've been to all most all dutch suicide pages and none of them could help me. I'm 13 almost 14, and it's now a year that I cut myself. I do it because I don't wanna cry, that may sounds stupid to you but it's because I'm sexally abused by my male cousin and my brother, my parents know it from my cousin, but they don't know it from my brother. But I don't want to cry because I don't want to show weakness, because thats what got me here in the first place. I have al lot of friends how want to comit suicide so they can't realy help me, I'm the one how helps them all the time. It's hard to live an aother day every day again, my father have cancer that makes it even harder, because I don't want to upsad my parents. I never really could talk with them so it isn't an opsion to talk with thme about it. I can't take it any longer. Every night wake up from nightmares every night be afraid, every night when I'm alone and sad like almost always cut myself. I can't take it any longer. People how know it will first help me and make me feel better but then they will just make it even 100 ties worst. I wanna die, but I'm to afraid that it won't work, and I'm to afraid that people will be sad because of my death. I know it's al long story but you got to know every thing so that you may help me or understand me. Now I'm slowly dying myself because I eat just a little and if it's possible I will trough it out (I don't know how you must say that). I don't know what I must do with myself and I'm thinking now what are you doing stupid bitch?!, Because I hate myself really much. How understands me? Or how can help me?
    Please or I will possibly die:sad:
    If you want to talk with me more private then you can add me to msn : missizzie@msn.com I hope someone knows what to do.
    -xXx- Izzie
  2. zoebaby

    zoebaby Well-Known Member

    hi sweetheart, Im sorry youre feeling so sad, and Im so sorry to hear about your father, my grandmother who was like a mother to me had cancer and I know its very hard to see someone you care about have cancer. You have to tell someone whats going on, you're body is a precious gift and noone should be able to terrorize you, youre too young to be dealing with that, its hard enough being a teenager. Tell your brother if he doesnt stop that youre going to tell someone . And let him know that youre very serious .Please dont let anyone hurt you, there are a lot of people who can help . pm me if you want, okay?
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum Izzie. You will fin many people here that are not from the US. There are many UK as well. I am sorry to hear about what is going on in your life. Do your parents know the abuse is still going on with your cousin? I know it is so hard to tell, especially when you don't feel anything will be done, or you think you may be blamed for what is happening. Most importantly is for you to know you are not to blame. Next, in order for things to change, you are going to need to tell someone what is going on. Your silence means it will continue, which you obviously don't want it to. I would like to tell you to stand up to them but I know that is an almost impossible thing to do. You need to take the power away from them. I am here for you if you need someone to talk with. Feel free to PM me should you choose to do that. I will answer as soon as I am able. Please take care and stay safe. :hug:
  4. zoebaby

    zoebaby Well-Known Member

    ps,you are not a stupid bitch, its not your fault.
  5. Leth

    Leth Member

    damn, I am a 39 yr old man and started balling when I read your thread. I'll say a prayer for you, cause that's all I can do now.

  6. numberman

    numberman Well-Known Member

    Firstly welcome to SF a worldwide forum

    I am impressed by your English,you are very eloquent for a second language

    I think that you have got to go to the authorities about this.Are you saying that your parents know about your cousin but do nothing? They also MUST be told about your brother 9 I am afraid that this is so irrespective of your father's health,for which I am very sorry)

    What I get angry about on this forum is the number of people who have to suffer something that is no fault of their own and yet seem too scared to deal with the situation. Holland may be one of the most liberated nations on earth but what is happenening to you is most definitely illegal there too.None of this is your fault

    I am also disturbed by your comment regarding your friends who I assume are about the same age as you.What is going on with you all? You should all be young and vibrant- are there any common themes that this forum can help with?

    Finally please always remember, as you did , that many,many people would be devastated if you did something stupid Happy New Year, "carpe diem" - seize the day, do something to make your situation better
  7. Izzie

    Izzie New Member

    Thanks for all the advise. My parents all ready have made stop the abused from the cousin side. My brother got a girlfriend and since he have her he doesn't do that any more. One of my friends is raped by her ex-boyfriend and got a lot of problems with her health. A other friend of my has a depressed mother and had a lot of problems with that but now she lives with her father it's a lot better with her. My friend how is raped is very depressed and I'm accutely also very depressed and it's not very good that we have contact with eachother because we have the same feelings we begin to find it normal.But we can't live wihtout eachother, because we need support from euachother and because we love eachtohter very much.It's maybe a very stupid question but what's PM??? I don't know that because I'm from Holland you know... I'm so insurcure that I don't like my body, while I'm acctullly not chubby at all. I can't go to the police, I can't give my owne brother and cousin in. I don't know how I must be happy again but I don't know how.

  8. Leth

    Leth Member


    A PM stands for Private Message. If you click on a persons name, you can send them a private message that only you and them can see. Hope that helps.

    Stay as strong as you can...

  9. Izzie

    Izzie New Member

    Allright thanks! I will stay strong for as long as is possible I will promise you all.
  10. CF&M

    CF&M New Member

    Please take one foot, with haste, violently raise it 90 degrees vertically within the inner region of your brothers legs - success.
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