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I dont know anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Katie-, Jul 9, 2013.

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  1. Katie-

    Katie- New Member

    For a few weeks now I've been feeling alone, and depressed and unimportant, ugly, fat, everything. I've self harmed, tried to starve myself (and failed). I've had suicidal thoughts but I don't think I'd bet go through with it. I don't know what to do.
    I've tried to talk to people about it, and they don't understand because they're all so happy. Then afterwards I feel worse because I feel like I'm being attention seeking, even though that's not at all how I intended it to be.
    I tried to tell my best friend I thought I was getting depressed and she said that I'll be okay. But I took a quiz online to see if I was showing signs of depression and it said I was. When I told her that she said ' no ur not' so I pretended I was joking because there was no other way of dealing with the neglect shed just gave me.
    And the only other person I know who would in any way understand what I'm going through doesn't feel like this anymore, so now I'm on my own again.
    I can't tell my parents because they would never understand, honestly, they wouldn't. I'd get called a drama queen or something, so I came here because I thought that it'd just be between people who know what it's like.
    I am 100% here for all of you, but please, can at least one of you tell me what to do, because I've completely lost myself.
  2. losing the will

    losing the will New Member

    Hey Katie, I'm new here too and wanted to say welcome. I hear what your saying. I'd like to say you already have what you need to get through this.... you've noticed something is not right, you've gathered further evidence of this and you've tried to seek support. I'm sorry the support side hasn't worked for you yet but please do not let that put you off. There are lots of helplines for people suffering similar feelings to be able to talk openly in confidence and ultimately your doctor. Sometimes we can't go to family because we fear their reaction will not be what we need. Sometimes that is the case sometimes they surprise us. Whatever the case your GP will be able to guide you forward during this difficult time. Please don't give up hope. You sound intelligent, reflective and resourceful, please don't let possible depression rob you and those around you of these qualities.
  3. themute

    themute Active Member

    Hi Katie, I'm new here as well. One thing that I would suggest is maybe joining a support group/group therapy type thing. I've just decided that it might be the best idea for me, because you will be around other people who definitely do understand. It seems that depression is just something that other people don't seem to want to admit exists, but that rejection can really hurt. It seems that people are afraid of it, and maybe they're afraid that they wont be able to help so they just try to run away from it. In any case it doesn't help. = The attention seeking thing is something I worry about too! You're not alone with that. Hope things work out <3
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