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I don't know anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Just wants to be happy, May 5, 2015.

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  1. I never knew how bad I was getting. I never knew what would happen to me. My life is a mess. My dad hates me and is constantly abusing me by calling me fat, stupid, a waste of space, no good, he called me a "thing" I'm not even a person to him. My mom is always on my case and pressuring me to do nothing but 110%, anything else isn't worth her time. I've given up trying in school, I just can't focus anymore and my mom is getting so pissed at me. I haven't had a good nights sleep in months, I almost fall asleep every day. None of my friends are talking to me anymore, I have no one to talk to, no one cares. I just, what's the point anymore? I just want out :(
  2. GreySilence

    GreySilence Well-Known Member

    I don't know what it's like to have your parents treat you in such an awful way, but it is disgusting that they would treat their own child that way. Not that it's the best idea, but have you ever tried having a proper talk with your parents about how they're making you feel? I will leave this up to your judgement, but if you think they have a shred of kindness somewhere in their hearts- it might be worth a shot to say that you're severely depressed because of the way they're treating you and that you need them to stop. If not, though, it's not the end of the world- there are other things you can turn to for hope.

    If your parents are constantly bringing you down, use that as your motivation to do better in school! if you're successful, you can book it the heck out of that awful household ASAP. Maybe school isn't really your strong point, that's ok too- you could start volunteering to build up a good resume, apply for some jobs, and you could start trying to make a living that way. Also, keep in mind that if you end your life, you lose all your chances at ever being happy again- even if it means your suffering stops. That's shit, because you deserve a shot at happiness. Things might start to look up one day! but that'll never happen if you just give in now. Be strong, and if happiness doesn't happen upon your path, make a new path for yourself.

    As for the insomnia, try to relax your body and mind before you attempt to sleep. Listen to some relaxing music, maybe take a shower, drink a non-caffeinated tea with a calming flavour. Don't do anything too exciting before you sleep, or it'll make it harder to wind down for the day.

    If your friends don't seem to care, then they don't deserve to be your friend. You will come across some nice people someday, they're everywhere- even if they are the minority. Just try your best not to judge people too quickly, and you'll find that below the surface, a lot of people are different than they seem. Someone might look pretty scary, but they could also be really kindhearted at the same time, etc.

    I'm sure there are quite a few things you love in this world too, live for those things! even with all the darkness the world throws at us, there are things that make it worth it. The world is so interesting and there are so many wonderful things that people have created for you to enjoy, and so many hobbies that you might be interested in but haven't tried yet.

    Anyways, I hope you can find your happiness! don't give up.
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