Hi,
I don't really have any addictions except cigaretts and physical self-harm,
but lately I've started taking more and more drugs, drinking more, not giving a damn about what I do when I'm drunk..
I had a lot of shit happen in my life, my "perfect" from the outside world..
Anyways I developed a habit of cutting myself when I was about 14'ish, I remember my mom telling me to stop it because it would leave such ugly marks.. :dry: but when I was about 18 I stopped for alomst a year, and I was pretty carefree, but now everything is crashing, I started doing drugs, and I never did then before (I'm 20 now) and I feel like I'm gonna crash into the walls going insane, I keep drinking more and more, taking pills and drinking, just taking more to prove I can, not really caring if I die or live, and the weird part is, I can't figure a reason, my life has lots of really good friends, friends that turned me around before, and really is there for me, and still everything seems dead, it's harder and harder to take off the mask even to my best, closes friends, I'm just cold shallow and rude to them, and in one way I care, and in another I don't give a damn, one part of me bleeds and the other just sits idly by... I have no idea whats going on, and I just feel like I wanna die..
but then I don't want to.. this is really f****** annoing it's tearing me apart.. if anyone please wanna share some similar experiences or talking about it.. that would be nice..
I don't really have any addictions except cigaretts and physical self-harm,
but lately I've started taking more and more drugs, drinking more, not giving a damn about what I do when I'm drunk..
I had a lot of shit happen in my life, my "perfect" from the outside world..
Anyways I developed a habit of cutting myself when I was about 14'ish, I remember my mom telling me to stop it because it would leave such ugly marks.. :dry: but when I was about 18 I stopped for alomst a year, and I was pretty carefree, but now everything is crashing, I started doing drugs, and I never did then before (I'm 20 now) and I feel like I'm gonna crash into the walls going insane, I keep drinking more and more, taking pills and drinking, just taking more to prove I can, not really caring if I die or live, and the weird part is, I can't figure a reason, my life has lots of really good friends, friends that turned me around before, and really is there for me, and still everything seems dead, it's harder and harder to take off the mask even to my best, closes friends, I'm just cold shallow and rude to them, and in one way I care, and in another I don't give a damn, one part of me bleeds and the other just sits idly by... I have no idea whats going on, and I just feel like I wanna die..
but then I don't want to.. this is really f****** annoing it's tearing me apart.. if anyone please wanna share some similar experiences or talking about it.. that would be nice..