I don't know anymore...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by ZombiePringle, Jul 21, 2009.

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  1. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    The past couple days I was actually in the best mood I have had in a very long time. Now today... I'm in horrible shape. I keep going over everything in my head and it seems I have only one option left... My life keeps going downhill no matter how hard I try. I work my butt off every week to support my fiance and baby only to be told everyday how worthless I am and how I'm ruining my fiance's life. I've been told I'm a horrible father many times lately. Been told by my fiance to kill myself (as I have said before I realize). Nothing is getting better...and doesn't seem like it will. I'm going over plans in my head and will probably go through with one today if I get any time by myself... I just want the nightmare to be over. Will this be my last post...I hope not. I hope I can find an alternative to what I feel I must do.. that doesn't look likely though...
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You're not worthless, and I hope you can find the strength to keep holding on.

    I have to ask ... why are you with your fiance if she's so mean to you? The things she says to you are cruel, things you don't deserve, and it sounds like she brings you down a lot.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    KanKuro sound like you fiancee has to be told to stop the verbal abuse as you don't deserve that. You need someone to respect you and show compassion and understanding not put you down. Perhaps couple councilling would be wise before any date is set. You deserve so much better.
     
  4. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Sorry to hear you're feeling so bad today :sad: sometimes all you can do to stop your life going downhill is wait it out.
    Eventually something good will happen, there's always hope while you're alive. I really hope this isn't your last post.. :hug:
     
  5. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    I'm still here.... At work... Was hoping it would be a better day but its not... Just seems to get worse every moment I'm alive. All I want to do is go home and wait for my oppurtunity to do it...wait for my chance to rid myself of all this. The only thing that has stopped me the past few days is the fact that I have not had enough alone time to do it. Its not getting any better, it never has and I have given up all hope that it will. The only hope I have right now is the hope that I'll have the chance to go through with it today.
     
  6. kfcheong

    kfcheong Member

    Hi kankuro,

    It seems like you feel very frustrated with your life. You feel that regardless of what you do, things doesn't seem to improve. Kankuro, I am hearing that although you wished that you could just die and leave everything behind, a part of you seems to be hanging on.

    You seem to be in a very abusive relationship and it is taking its toll on you. The worse part is that you don't seem to be enjoying your job as well.

    Deep down, I can sense that you wished that things could be better for you. If you had your way, what would you change so that things can become better for you?
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I wish you would phone a help line and talk to people there. You are such a kind person and deserve kindness in return. Can you not take a leave from work for awhile and go to hospital to get the help you need to feel better. Perhaps leaving your fiancee will smarten him up go to a relatives get away for awhile from the abuse.
     
  8. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    I'm hundreds of miles from my closest relative or even friend. I'm stuck living with my fiance at her grandpa's house. If I leave her I will have nowhere else to go. I can only see the one option here. And thats all I see.
     
  9. kfcheong

    kfcheong Member

    Kankuro, you feel like you are trapped in a situation that you cannot escape. It must be a very suffocating feeling. If you decide to leave your fiance, at least temporarily, where would you go to? Is there a cheap hostel near the place you are at?

    Kankuro, I'm feeling very concerned that you feel like there is no way out. We are here to help you. If you could ask someone for help now, who would tat be?
     
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