I dont know anymore..

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Kiba, Jul 2, 2010.

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  1. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Ive been dealing with a lot of shit lately and my moods are very irratic and I just dont think I can do anthing anymore.. Ive sorta already planned to die tonight.. I just am scared and Im having trouble thinking.. :( Ive called my therapist and a crisis line, but nothings been helpful..

    I dont know if Ill go through with it yet.. but.. I guess Its goodbye if I do...
     
  2. mlxjaded

    mlxjaded Well-Known Member

    Hey there, Swift.
    Me and you are in a similar boat although I'm sure our reasons are different.
    Let's stay strong together.

    What's going on?
     
  3. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    it's ok. right now stuff must seem heavy. trust me i have tried tonight and decided to find help. talk to us, tell us about what you like, just stay strong
     
  4. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Theres just too much..

    Idk if Im doing this because Im more pissed at the entire world, or annoyed with myself..

    Ive been have semi-flash backs of my childhood that I just am starting to remember.. Im suposed to be moving this month too..

    But thats only a couple things that I just cant deal with right now..
     
  5. mlxjaded

    mlxjaded Well-Known Member

    Yeah, this world sucks sometimes but what can we do?
    Let us stay strong together.
    Just hang in there.

    Maybe moving will be a good thing?
    Are you moving far?
    Maybe start a new life wherever you go.

    Keep posting.
     
  6. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    there's help out there for flashbacks. they can really mess people up. as for you being pissed off at the world why be? the world doesn't matter to you does it? you don't need to be annoyed at yourself either. doesn't solve anything, it just winds you up more. do you play computer games? they sometimes help me vent
     
  7. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I dont think I can handle being alone..
    I cant handle any shit right now..
    I keep feelin like I used to when I was a young kid..
    The crap and shit.. It feels like Its hapening again..

    Ive been through so much therapy and crap..
    I did somthin stuipd yesterday thats been makin me feel like Im gona pass out..
    I just cant stand the constaint battles in my head..
    Im tired of seeing my damn childhood again..
    Tired of feeling the pain..

    Edit:
    Im mad at the world for the shit thats happened to me..
    Im mad about the world in general.. Mad that the world even exists..
     
  8. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    please try not to focus on the negative, sometimes it can help but isn't there anything good in your life you can focus on? the move? friends? anything you want to try?
     
  9. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Theres really nothing good...

    I have no friends irl..
    Ive seen a lot of shit.. and deaths.. Including my brothers..
    Im in foster care...
    I dont have a job..
    Im tired of feelin crap..
    Ive been in treatment for 3 or 4 years..
    I just cant take much more!
     
  10. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    sounds rough.

    i hate being the optimist but you can make friends, and finding a job is 1% education and 99% luck. can you wait and see what your future holds?
     
  11. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I dont know.. I just.. I cant do anymore..
    Im gona end up dead or in a coma tonight..
    thats all..
     
  12. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    that can't be all. you've got your whole life ahead. sounds scary i know but theres more than just life and death. it's your story and even oliver twist had a happy ending (i think), and while life can never be a fairytale, it can still be one hell of an adventure
     
  13. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    It sounds like you;ve been through sooo much. YOU are SOOO strong a oersonnto have gotten this far. I admire you so much!!!! Your memories of childhood coming back could be the begining of healing. Often the return of repressed memories signals a time of upheaval leading to cure. I'm so sorry for the many hardships you mentioned. BUT remember YOU are not alone. WE are HERE for YOU!!!! I am HERE for YOU. It sounds like you are on the verge of a break throuhg. After going through so much why not wait for the good that will inevitably come? Your Mother may be going through a rough time too. Maybe you need to just pull back a little and she will get through it and be better. We are allon your side here. I know it's hard when things are so rough,but things DO change. I have gone from saome very bad places to very happy ones in a short time. You WILL too. I know how angry the pain and hardships of life can be. PLEASE let us be the example of what is GOOD in the world for you. You have my love and hope and best. We NEED you to stay with us here. PLEASE DO.

    Write me if you like,

    Marty
     
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