I dont really know what im doing here. And I dont know if anyone understand me im 19 and a german girl Im seriously not ready to die but there are so much reasons to do it. Everyday i need to cry and every day i have depressions ... when im alone. My only friends are online and ive never met them. I already visit a psych.. thought i passed the depressions and i get some medications. i dont like to take them. Im not myself when i take them.. And when I dont take them i know why i want to die.. like now. I dont wanted to take them today. im scared of myself and im thinking about so much things. Ive never felt so ugly like today.. Could someone... tell me whats going on in my head ?