I don't know how long I can carry on..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by wanttodie, Feb 2, 2008.

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  1. wanttodie

    wanttodie Well-Known Member

    every day i goto work it seems like a year..due to my past issues i dont talk to people but i really want to..i think my life is so boring.. the only fun in my life is going out sometimes with my family, watching TV/movies..thats all. At the same time I do not want to get close to anyone because I fear my past being revealed. I know I will never have a single friend in my life because of my nature. I never had a friend in my 21 years of existence. I find it strange because it seems almost everyone around me has friends. I have a great job in computer industry and if I continue for 3-4 years I know I will make lots of money. But the thing is money has no use. There are other things which are much much more important. And then again you need good social skills to survive in computer industry. How the fuck am I going to do that? My hands shake involuntarily when I give presentations. I can't imagine myself lonely,depressed like this after 10-15 years..either i will die because of the stress levels or i would end up in psychiatric institution. I seriously can't deal with it because it even hampers my job. How can I live another 10-15 years when living every day is an herculean task.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 2, 2008
  2. silent_enigma

    silent_enigma Well-Known Member

    Other than immediate family I have no friends either. Send a PM if you like.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Firstly, you sound so valuable that I am sure someone would be honored to be your friend...social phobia is something that can be treated both with meds and/or therapy...finding a way to break into the social world is the first step...you like movies and TV...why not engage someone in talking about that? we are always the most comfortable talking about what we know well...if I can help in anyway, plez PM me...big hugs, J
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