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I don't know how much longer I can do this for...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Nothingreal, May 28, 2014.

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  1. Nothingreal

    Nothingreal Member

    I recently acquired a job. On the second day of this job I made a mistake and the boss told me to get out so today after work I gave him my two week notice. My last day is sunday. My parents don't know I quit. They know I really wanted to too and have been constantly telling me why I shouldn't. There was a point at work today where I couldn't stop shaking because I was so anxious... I wanted to run away. I wanted to die. This job has pushed me the closest to suicide I have ever been and even now that I have quit it is still causing so much stress because I have to tell my parents I quit.

    I feel so hopeless. I'm a total failure. I can't hold a job for a week without quitting. I'm afraid if I don't get help I will not be in this world much longer. I asked my mom for help... she said she would contact the doctor and see if he will give me meds. She didn't seem too concerned. I'm so tired of people not taking me seriously. I don't want to be like this but apparently I have to kill myself to get any help around here. Even the school councilor doesn't take me seriously...

    A few months ago I was diagnosed with depression officially and even after being told by a professional that I should probably get help my mom doesn't believe I do.... After seeing my scars...

    I don't want to die... but right now I don't know how I can keep on living like this.

    My school work has been slipping... I do try to do it I just can't find enough energy to care let alone actually complete it.

    I feel lifeless. This is not a life worth living. I am not happy.

    I don't know what to do...
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No job h un is worth dying over ok and it is best for YOU not to be there then you did the right thing ok It was too much pressure for you I do hope your mother listens and get you either therapy or on meds or both Just remember hun there are other jobs out there ok right now you have to look after your mental health first
    If you are of age then you go to the doctor and you get on some meds ok you do not need your mothers permission hugs
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I remember the first job I got, I lasted a week and I quit because of my anxiety, I just couldn't stay there. I felt like they didn't like me there, and the stress was eating me alive. I remember my mom was mad that I had quit but she still supported me, I was 16 back then. Then around 19-20 I got another job, and this one lasted 3 months. I can't keep a job for a long time because of my anxiety. I just end up in a burn out. So I totally relate to you.

    I think that you shouldn't listen to your mom and listen to your doctor. He can give you information on how to get better and get help, either through other organizations and stuff...I am medicated and it helps a lot. Although I still can't hold a job, which sucks, at least I can sleep and sort of function. Maybe that doctor can give you a paper for temporary government money since you can't work for now? that way you can get a breather and find help and stuff...

    hang in there, :hug:
  4. Picket

    Picket New Member

    Hi, this is my first post here and I feel kind of awkward posting, but I wanted to reply to your thread because as I read it it reminded me of many of my experiences and I felt so sad about you feeling hopeless and like a failure. I feel really sad your mom is not responding in the way you need her to (or DESERVE to be responded to). Honestly that makes my heart break as it reminds me of when I went to my mom and asked for help years ago and she didn't get me the help I needed, told me to get over it, etc.

    I wish I could offer you magical wisdom or a solution to turn around your feelings of lifelessness and unhappiness. The one thing I have learned is that for me the love, support, power, validation that I need comes from within me, not from others, whether they be doctors, parents, counselors, etc. I may or may not find support from those people, but the ultimate source is in me. I SAY that, but right now am feeling pretty low so feel like I am just reciting words. I have known it to be true before, though. Don't stop trusting yourself.

    Hugs to you. I totally take you seriously and believe you deserve respect and support unto the ends of the earth.
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