I'm back to this point. I drove home from work...I wanted to just drive right into a pole. I drove home shaking. I see the psychiatrist tomorrow. I'll end up telling him I'm fine I know I will. How old do you have to be to buy a gun? I think if I could buy one...I'd be done. Maybe I'll be back on. I don't know. Honestly I don't care anymore. Fuck it. My friend did it.....I can too. Bye.